Sibling Rivalry

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Batgirl #17

In the aftermath of the just barely completed “Death of the Family” crossover, Barbara Gordon is busy identifying members of the Joker’s gang through a bunch of mugshots, her mother is in the hospital with a finger sliced off, and her psychotic brother James Jr. is looking to get his own twisted revenge on Batgirl. While Batgirl and the cops put the hurt on the Joker’s stooges, someone starts targeting them with rockets, all while James Jr. taunts his sister. Who’s behind these new attacks?

Verdict: Ehh, thumbs down. Sorry to say, this one just wasn’t all that interesting. Even James Jr., usually an awesomely evil character, just comes across as bland.

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Ame-Comi Girls Featuring Supergirl #5

Supergirl has just arrived on Earth, already too late to keep Brainiac from attacking. The Manhunter robots agree to pardon Supergirl and Power Girl if they’ll help stop Brainiac, but they’re vastly outnumbered by Brainiac’s drones. Some other heroes, including Steel, Robin, Catwoman, and Flash, arrive to help, but Power Girl must head for the center of the planet to shut down one of Brainiac’s secret computers. Supergirl heads for Brainiac’s ship but gets contaminated by Black Kryptonite. Can anyone stop her from destroying Earth’s heroes?

Verdict: Thumbs down. The story was just plain loopy-weird, and the artwork was the exact kind of manga-inspired artwork that I really, really dislike. Sorry, but I just didn’t enjoy reading the story.

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Irritated Again

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Oh, comics industry, do you have to do all these things to disappoint the polar bear? Do you really?

So first, there’s this bit of news that’s had the comics news sites roiling over the past few days: Geoff Johns will no longer be writing “Green Lantern.” This is considered so earth-shatteringly important that you can see multiple articles devoted to Johns and GL on all the big sites.

The thing is, this isn’t important. The only reason anyone cares is because Geoff Johns is one of the people running DC Comics (into the ground, he added venomously), and because his devotion to Green Lantern is so overblown that he’s got the company publishing four different GL comics — the same number as the Superman-related comics. We can pretty well be guaranteed that Johns will eventually pick up some new character obsession, if he doesn’t just insist that DC start publishing a dozen “Aquaman” comics.

What else does DC think is important for the comics world? Well, they’re going to let bigoted has-been douche Orson Scott Card, still coasting on the positive reputation he got from writing “Ender’s Game” in ’85, and now better known for being a homophobic freak, write some Superman stories in a digital comic.

Now that’s a real WTF moment, DC.

And you know that DC was probably entirely expecting this, if not actively excited about it. Card’s background and reputation isn’t a secret. You mention his name in nerd circles, and you’re stone guaranteed to get as many people who hate him for being a gay-bashing scumbag as there are who love him for being the author of one of science fiction’s most beloved books. Heck, you can find people who love “Ender’s Game” but still hate Card for being a gay-bashing scumbag. His reputation is inextricably tied to the fact that he really, really hates gay people.

And DC, a company that has more and more often marketed its comics by trolling and insulting comics readers, decided this sounded like a public relations triumph. They knew it’d be controversial, they knew it’d really get the outrage pumping — and courting controversy and outrage is all DC really knows how to do these days. They certainly don’t care about quality stories, because Card hasn’t written anything more impressive than his homophobic screeds in at least a decade.

But really, you know what bugged me the most today? More than the foofaraw about Geoff Johns quitting one of his bland superhero comics? More than one of the Big Two embracing a bigot for the sake of cheap publicity and easy HuffPo hits? How about Don Rosa, the chronicler of Disney’s duck comics for several decades and a man second only to Carl Barks himself as one of the Scrooge McDuck creators, quitting comics completely, partly because he’s getting old and his eyesight is fading, but also because Disney can reprint his work any time they want to, put his name on the cover as a selling point, and not pay him a single dime. Yeah, not even a lucky one.

Seriously, comic book fans, this is way more important than one of DC’s bigwigs flouncing off and paying the comics news sites to freak out about it.

This is a depressingly familiar story. The comics publishers have never shown much interest in supporting the geniuses who’ve made them rich, and it’s absolutely ridiculous that Disney markets their Scrooge McDuck collections with Rosa’s name but won’t pay him any royalties or anything else in compensation. That’s infuriating and just sad.

Don Rosa deserves better. And we all deserve a better, less noxious comic book industry.

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Hyper Heroics

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The Hypernaturals #8

While Thinkwell, Shoal, and Clone 21 try to survive in a hazardous side-space environment while two evil Sublimes try to kill each other, Bewilder, Halfshell, and Clone 45 try to fight off a bunch of murderous supervillains invading one of their HQs in pursuit of the fabled Nephilim Fragment. Will anyone manage to survive and stop the hypervillains?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very nice action, storytelling, and characterization. We finally get to see Halfshell do something other than being a furious hothead. Maybe the best bit is the flashback that opens the comic, where we see Thinkwell’s first day as a Hypernatural — I really do wish we could see more of some of the characters introduced there, particularly the fractured crystaline Shard and the awesome fear-inducing Haint.

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Worlds’ Finest #9

A bunch of paramilitary mercenaries have invaded the labs on Power Girl’s Starr Island (query: Is Power Girl’s Starr Labs the new S.T.A.R. Labs?) in pursuit of some kind of hidden data. Karen is out of range, leaving an injured Huntress to battle them alone. Can she handle them with a broken arm? We also get a flashback to how Huntress acquired her costume.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Pretty good story — I’m a sucker for an “underdog must take out superior forces solo” story. The flashbacks are fine, too. If I’ve got a quibble, it’s with the continuity in the artwork — at one point, Huntress has a broken arm in a cast and sling, but when you turn the page, the cast and sling are both gone, and she’s using both arms just fine. That may seem like a minor issue — but the change is definitely noticeable  It’s an error that should have been caught.

Today’s Cool Links: 

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Friday Night Fights: Twister Sock!

Okay, people, it’s Friday night, the work week is over, and it’s time to enjoy two days of rest and relaxation. And how do we traditionally begin our much-too-rare periods of rest and relaxation? With… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from July 2012’s Popeye #3 by Roger Langridge and Tom Neely. Popeye’s in the ring with the terrifyingly ominous and powerful fighter called the Phantom Crusher. But is Popeye’s opponent hiding some terrible secret?!

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HOLY BANANAS, POPEYE JUST PUNCHED OUT A DISGUISED HORSE! (runs through town ringing bells) THIS IS THE GREATEST THING IN HUMAN HISTORY!

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Shivering

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Colder #4

Nimble Jack has kidnapped Reece into the dimension of crazy, and Declan has to find a way to get her out, all while making sure his body temperature, which drops every time he uses any of his special abilities, doesn’t fall below zero, which would be the point where he dies. He hitches a ride on a passing dog-phobic nutcase to track her into the other dimension, but runs into plenty of problems, including a horde of hellhounds, gigantic monsters, and Nimble Jack himself. Can Declan find Reece? Even if he can, will either of them be able to escape?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Brilliant imagery in this series — the design of the hellhounds is great, and the monsters formed of fingers and fangs are also magnificent. The characterization is good, too. The action is alright, but what this series does so well is weird horror and paranoia. Paul Tobin did some really interesting research on this project — check out some of it here.

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Hellboy in Hell #3

Hellboy is, well, still stuck in Hell, learning more about his demonic family. He learns that his father, as punishment for creating him and giving him the Right Hand of Doom, has been frozen in a block of ice for millennia. He tangles with two of his brothers, intent on killing him, cutting off his hand, and claiming it for themselves. And he learns that he might’ve killed someone very important, and messed things up really badly.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The story is ominous and spooky, with Hellboy finding himself way over his head. And again, the real selling point for this one is Mike Mignola drawing Hellboy, so yeah, probably worth picking up.

Today’s Cool Links:

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Hope for the Future

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Wearing the Cape: Villains Inc. by Marion G. Harmon

The third consecutive novel in the “Wearing the Cape” series (technically, it was written second, with the previously reviewed “Big Easy Nights” written to bridge the gap between the first novel and this one) continues the story of newbie superhero Hope “Astra” Corrigan.

Astra has now completed her training and is a more effective superhero than ever, but after the events of the first novel, she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. And since her relationship with the late Atlas has been revealed, her popularity has plummeted. The Sentinels have plenty of problems of their own, too — with several of their most prominent members dead, they have to bring in new members quickly. And there’s a prediction that the team’s leader, the magic-wielding Blackstone, is going to be killed. And worst of all, Chicago is gripped by a metahuman crime wave as a group called Villains Inc. starts a war on organized crime, the Sentinels, the police, and anyone else who gets in their way.

There are also plenty of changes for two of Hope’s friends — Jacky “Artemis” Bouchard, reluctant vampire vigilante, back from New Orleans, learns what happens when a vampire gets hit by a powerful healing spell, and Shelly (Hope’s old friend from high school, who’d killed herself in an attempt to give herself superpowers and then been resurrected as an artificial intelligence — she lives inside Hope’s head and serves as her in-the-field crisis dispatcher) sees her role in the Sentinels organization develop in greater ways.

So will the Sentinels be able to track the spellcaster behind Villains Inc.? Will they be able to save Blackstone? Can they keep from getting wrecked by Villains Inc. and everyone else coming out of the woodwork to attack them? And how is Astra going to handle going toe-to-toe with a villain who’s even more powerful than she is?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’ve read a lot of superhero novels, and I’ve liked an awful lot of them. And I really do think Harmon’s “Wearing the Cape” series is the gold standard that all other superhero novels should aspire to. Seriously, it’s better than “Soon I Will Be Invincible,” which is a heck of a good novel.

I love the characters — Hope, Jacky, Shelly, the Bees, Hope’s parents, Rush, Blackstone, Detective Fisher, Lei Zi, and all the rest. I love the action — bruising, brutal, terrible, thrilling. I love the drama and suspense and the vast amounts of humor.

And I love the attention to detail and realism — there are plenty of ideas here about how superheroes and supervillains would affect laws, culture, the media, and more. And even better, all that realism doesn’t make it a grim, unappealing story, like so many other “realistic” superhero stories. It’s still enormous fun to read, and to re-read.

Seriously, the story starts with Astra fighting Godzilla — or at least a godzilla. And it just gets better from there.

It’s a great story. Go pick it up.

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A World Without “Superhero” Trademarks

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So here’s the latest thing to irritate me about the comics biz.

There’s this little publisher called Cup O’ Java Studio Comix that’s been working on a comic called “A World Without Superheroes.” And Marvel and DC are going to take ’em to court because of their jointly-held trademark of the word “super hero.” (or superhero or super-hero or whatever variation.) They’ve done this before — a few years back, there was a comic called “Super Hero Happy Hour,” which changed its name to “Hero Happy Hour” to keep from getting sued.

I think this is all fairly silly, and I hope, since it appears that Cup o’ Java is willing to take it to court, that this is going to spell the end of the Marvel/DC trademark of “superhero.”

Ya see, the thing with trademarks is that you have to keep them protected. That means keeping track of people who may be using your trademark and getting them to stop. ‘Cause if you don’t, you run the risk of a court saying you haven’t done anything to protect your trademark, so anyone can use it. Or worse, from a business viewpoint, if your trademark gets used too often as a generic replacement for any variation of a product or service you provide, even if it’s actually offered by one of your competitors.

Let’s take this slow. Some companies take trademark enforcement way too seriously — McDonald’s, for instance, sues just about anyone who has a “McDonald” in their business name. McDonald Dry Cleaning, McDonald Lawn Care, McDonald Chainsaw Repair. That’s just mean, ’cause no one is going to assume that the same company that makes Big Macs is also going to fix your chainsaw, right? Too many lawsuits for frivolous reasons just makes people mad at you and gets you a reputation as a bully.

On the other hand, you really do have to make sure you don’t let your name become too generic. Xerox has had that trouble for years, because people started using their name as a verb — “I’m going to go xerox my files” when they meant they were just going to go make some copies. Xerox has worked hard for years, usually through advertising and public relations, to remind people that Xerox is a trademark, not just another word for photocopies. Same thing with Wham-O, which is so on the ball about protecting their trademark on the Frisbee that when you search on Wikipedia for “Frisbee,” it automatically redirects you to the article for “flying disc.” I mean, as far as I can tell, there’s no Wikipedia article at all for the Frisbee product, ’cause they’re so focused on making sure people remember it’s a Frisbee(R) flying disc.

There’s a whole branch of trademark law that has to do with generic trademarks — common words that used to be trademarks, like aspirin, zipper, kerosene, escalator, yo-yo, even heroin.

And let’s be honest now — “superhero” is a completely generic term. It describes Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Spider-Man, Storm, and Iron Man. But it also describes Spawn, the Tick, the Incredibles, Danny Phantom, the Powerpuff Girls, Fantomah, and every player character in the “City of Heroes” and “Champions Online” computer games. Your kid runs around with a bath towel around his neck and a paper domino mask, and who is he? He’s a superhero. Lower-case. Commonplace. Generic.

In “The Incredibles,” Bob Parr says, “Of course I have a secret identity. I don’t know a single superhero who doesn’t.”

In “Hancock,” Mary Embrey says, “Gods, angels… Different cultures call us by different names. Now all of a sudden it’s superhero.”

In “The Greatest American Hero,” Ralph Hinkley says, “I’m not quitting my job. How am I supposed to eat? Go down to the welfare office and stand in the superhero line?”

Did Marvel and DC sue to protect their trademarks in any of these instances? ‘Cause if Xerox had to deal with a lot of movies and TV shows using their trademark so carelessly, they’d raise hell, I guarantee. Why do DC and Marvel let this stuff slide?

Have they complained over the last few years about the tagline on the “Invincible” comics?

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“The Best Superhero Comic Book in the Universe!” They’re even cribbing the Fantastic Four’s tagline, and Marvel didn’t say boo about it.

The fact is, Marvel and DC only try to enforce their trademark when it’s a small publisher that doesn’t have the money to fight them in court. And while that’s a great strategy for winning court cases, it’s not a good strategy to use when you want to really protect your trademark. Because everyone else uses it so much, it’s now completely generic. They don’t try to protect it when Image or Pixar use it or even book publishers who publish books with the word “superhero” in their titles. It’s almost like they know they’ve got a phony-baloney trademark, and they don’t want to draw too much attention to it.

Letting Marvel and DC have a trademark on “superhero” is about as stupid as letting Tor have a trademark for “science fiction,” or Universal Studios have one for “movie,” or Safeway have one for “groceries.” That’s not just my fat-guy schmuckass opinion either — legal experts generally think it’s kinda loopy that Marvel and DC — two competing companies — were ever allowed to share a trademark on such a generic term anyway.

“Superhero” belongs to all of us. And DC and Marvel can’t put that genie back into the bottle.

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Friday Night Fights: How to Beat Fried Worms!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gather ye ’round so we can get this weekend started right. It’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from November 2010’s Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam #20 by Art Baltazar, Franco, and Mike Norton. The bad guys got Captain Marvel down, but it doesn’t take much to turn the tide against Mr. Mind and Dr. Sivana.

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Ah, how the worm, as they say, has turned…

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Leviathan’s Triumph

This is gonna be a rough week for comics blogging over here — I got only one comic in the pull-list on Wednesday.

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Batman Inc. #7

Batman’s been captured by Leviathan, and the rest of Batman Inc. is in disarray. The Knight is dead. Damian realizes that Talia’s lead henchman is actually his own clone, artificially aged into adulthood and augmented with extra powers. The Hood betrays everyone. Talia tries to blow up Red Robin. Leviathan’s mind-controlled allies, including Gotham City’s children, flock to her crusade. And Batman is stuck in an inescapable deathtrap. Only Damian can save the day — but he’s been ordered to stay in the Batcave. It’s not a good time to be on the side of justice in Gotham…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Outstanding work. Great action, fantastic characterization, wonderful tension, and fun, expressive art. Everyone gets some time in the spotlight, and everyone actually ends up being likeable — including Jason Todd, which I was pretty sure was a complete impossibility. And in among all the betrayals and battles and explosions, we still get some time for great quiet moments, including Damian feeding a cat and Alfred demonstrating why he’s the Bat-family’s best parent. If I’ve got a complaint, it’s that we’ve officially lost the Knight, who was an outstanding, fun, positive character. The Squire is still around, and I hope Morrison has some great moments for her coming up. This might be a good time to go track down the “Knight and Squire” series from a couple years back.

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Let’s Talk about Sextillion

This is something that’s been bugging me for the last couple of weeks.

I was surfing around the Intarwebz and landed on this Wikipedia page that listed Superman’s powers. We all know that Supes pretty much hit the superpower lottery — he’s got just about everything, and he’s got more of it than just about anyone else. But there was this bit that bugged me:

After being saturated with yellow solar energy in All-Star Superman, his strength was tested as exceeding the force of 200 quintillion tons (or 2×1020 tons, in scientific notation, i.e., two hundred billion billion tons), enough to pull the Earth away from the sun. As of The New 52 reboot, his strength now exceeds 5.972 sextillion metric tons.

I’m willing to buy that for “All-Star Superman,” when, again, he’d been overdosed on solar energy — and the focus of the story wasn’t on his physical strength. But the New 52 bit just annoys me, partly ’cause they’re just trying to one-up Morrison’s story, and partly ’cause it’s just so stupid. Here, lookit this panel from the Reboot’s Superman #13:

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And here are the panels, if that’s too small to read. First, the technician helping test Supes says this:

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And Superman replies:

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This bugs me, and not just for the arrogance the Man of Steel is flashing here.

Really, that level of strength is freakin’ unrealistic. Yes, even for a superhero comic book. Especially for a superhero comic book. Bench-pressing the planet is stupid — and I felt the same way when Grant Morrison had Superman, Wonder Woman, and Martian Manhunter do it all the time in the classic “JLA” series.

Being powerful enough to juggle planets may be a power fantasy (but I don’t know anyone who fantasizes about juggling a planet — juggling bullies, sure, planets, no way), but it makes for boring storytelling.

Where’s the challenge for someone who can juggle a planet? Got a comet on the way to hit Earth? Juggle the planet out of the way. Lex Luthor has a new robot? Is it heavier than the planet? Toss it aside. Lex Luthor got a chunk of Kryptonite? Swat it out of the solar system before it actually reduces your powers or causes you any serious harm. Or have Wonder Woman or the Martian Manhunter or Apollo do it for you, ’cause it’s been pretty well established that they’ve all got Superman-class strength.

Challenge comes from being able to be challenged, and the DC Reboot just prioritizes a few creators’ feeble egos and shallow fantasies above good storytelling.

Superman was a better character back when John Byrne was writing him in the mid-’80s — not just because Byrne was a better writer, with a better grasp of the Man of Steel’s personality and motivations, but because he understood that Superman was more fun to read about when he couldn’t juggle a planet.

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