Okay, so Spacebooger has decreed that we’re taking a two-week break from Friday Night Fights, but that doesn’t mean that we actually have to stop the violence, right? After all, it’s been a rough week, and what we all need is a heaping mega-dose of pain and suffering and fisticuffs to make sure the weekend gets started off right! So let’s get right to the Pure Testosterone-Pumped Bone-Breakage!

From April 2008’s, umm, Tiny Titans #1 by Art Baltazar and Franco: Witness the heart-stopping brutality as Plasmus encounters a bunch of the Titans in a local park:

OHHH, THE SAVAGERY!

Well, alright, not so much the pain this time. But I think we can excuse it for once, because we all love lollipops. Y’all have a merry weekend…

Tiny Titans #15

As you might expect from this cover, this issue features an astounding number of bunnies.

It’s time for another meeting of the Pet Club, with Alfred laying down his ground rules to make sure that Stately Wayne Manor doesn’t filled with bubbles again. Supergirl is back, with all her super-pets, including Beppo the Super-Monkey, and Zatara, the boy magician, is back, too, bringing his pet bunny Abby. Hey, remember what happened the last time Beppo and Zatara were together? That’s right, Beppo got hold of Zatara’s magic wand and turned all the Titans into monkeys! So what happens this time?

Soooo many bunnies… Soooo much Cute Overload… And “Ka-Bunny!” may be the greatest sound effect in history.

We also get treated to Rose Wilson babysitting the Tiny Terror Titans, Li’l Disruptor, Dreadbolt, Miss Persuader (and her Atomic Toothbrush), and Copperhead. She shows the kids what’s under her eyepatch, then makes them some hot nachos. You wouldn’t think something so simple would be so good, but it is. And finally, there’s a quick epilogue where one of the bunnies reveals a completely unexpected secret.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Vast fun, made even better with a multitude of impossibly cute bunnies. Of all the all-ages books I read (and I’m still surprised that I read and enjoy so many of them), I think this is the one I always look forward to the most.

Tiny Titans #14

It’s time for another meeting of the Tiny Titans Pet Club. Today, the meeting is being held at Paradise Island, where all the boys have to stand on tables so they don’t touch the ground. We get to meet Cassie’s pets, Matilda the Minotaur (who looks an awful lot like Elsie the Borden Cow), Yooni the Unicorn (who really is quite cute), and Cecelia the Cyclops (whose mother wants to eat everyone). We also get the enduring question of what the heck kind of critter Lagoon Boy is, as well as an episode with Cyborg’s new out-of-control vacuum cleaner. And we close things out with a shapechanging contest between Beast Boy and Miss Martian.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Just ridiculously cute. Yeah, it’s probably designed for the younger side of the All-Ages set, but I still think it’s good fun for grownups, too.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #34

It’s a time travel adventure, as Spider-Man, Hulk, Tigra, and Ant-Man get caught up in a rogue time vortex, along with Sgt. Nick Fury and his Howling Commandos. They play with some dinosaurs in the year 230,000,000 B.C., they eat pancakes with Abraham Lincoln, Tigra gets painted by Toulouse-Lautrec (“Hulk likes tiny man’s hat.”), and they head back to ancient Egypt, where they tangle with some Egyptians inexpertly wielding modern weapons. All that, plus Tigra gets mistaken for Bast, the Egyptian goddess of cats.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’ve been a bit burned out on time travel stories lately, thanks to the unending confusion in the “Booster Gold” series, but this one was pretty good. Excellent comedy, with some excellent blink-and-you’ll-miss-’em cameos, and some wildly goofball time travel fun. I wish they’d had something more for the Howling Commandos to do, though, as they mostly tended to stay in the background and react to stuff the Avengers were doing.

Tiny Titans #13

It’s time for another meeting of the Tiny Titans Pet Club! This time, everyone shows up at Robin’s house while Alfred goes off to run errands. Unfortunately, Aqualad brings his new pet, Inky the Octopus, who promptly squirts ink all over everyone. In an attempt to clean up before Alfred gets back, everyone gets the costumes into the Bat-Washing Machine, fills it full of a bit too much detergent, and floods the house with soap. Besides that, Hotspot gets to join the Bird Scouts, and Psimon attends a Science Club meeting.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of excellent stuff from Baltazar and Franco here. Inky the Octopus really is quite funny, as are the repeated “SOAP!” sound effects, Robin’s completely nonchalant penguins, the return of Beast Boy’s pet elephant, and the Kroc Files. This here is certainly my favorite panel:

No doubt about it, I loves me some superfluous Brainiacs.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #33

Looks like New York City has a pest problem — in this case, an infestation of dinosaurs! The Avengers are barely holding their own, and Wolverine even gets eaten, briefly, by a T-Rex. And their resident dinosaur expert, Ka-Zar of the Savage Land, is trying to learn how to drive. Who’s behind the dino invasion? It’s Stegron the Dinosaur Man, and he has a way to create super-dinosaurs that’ll let him defeat the human race! While Wolverine uses a ketchup packet to track Stegron, Spider-Man tries in vain to teach Ka-Zar how to drive a car. But when it’s time for the big fight, when Ka-Zar is the only guy who can save the day, where has he disappeared to?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I was actually a little concerned about the language — because it ends up talking down to the reader. Sure, sure, this is an all-ages comic, but the best all-ages comics don’t treat their readers like babies. But other than that, there’s a lot of the stuff that makes these comics so much fun, from the crazy dinosaurs to the bizarre subplot about teaching the Jungle Lord how to drive, to the little background details. Definitely worth picking up.

Just one review today? Sure, but it’s for DC’s very best all-ages comic. And it’s for what appears to be the very best issue of this comic ever.

Tiny Titans #12

Alright, first of all, dig that cover. A nice little bit of subversion to kick things off. All of DC’s mainstream comics this month have had “Faces of Evil” covers with a spotlight on the supervillains. And “Tiny Titans” jumps on that bandwagon with a twist on the concept that’s colorful and funny. I love that.

What’s our plot this time? Well, Trigon, substitute teacher at Sidekick Elementary School, has snagged five tickets to a baseball game, and he wants to take Principal Slade along with him — just to kiss up to the boss a little. Slade decides what the heck, so Slade grabs his kids, Rose and Joseph, and Trigon grabs his daughter, Raven, and they all head out to the ballgame.

With me so far?

Good, ’cause here’s where things get crazy.

It turns out that Darkseid, Lord of Apokolips, Possessor of the Omega Force, Master of the Anti-Life Equation, the Rock, the Chain, and the Lightning…

…is the school’s lunch lady.

So while Slade, Trigon, and their families are at the game, meeting up with, by gum, Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four and his son, Franklin:

…Lunch Lady Darkseid gets to be Principal for a Day.

(And those are the cutest little parademons ever!)

So Darkseid has something really, really awful planned for the Tiny Titans, right? Oh, you betcha. He’s going to make everyone take their final exams early!

Okay, I give up. This is officially the Awesomest Thing in Awesometown.

Verdict: Thumbs way, way up. Dan DiDio, Paul Levitz, Grant Morrison, your services are no longer needed. Art Baltazar and Franco are going to be taking over the DC Universe from now on.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #6

It’s the amazing origin of Ant-Man! Hank Pym can’t sell his incredible ant-communicator to the gigantic Van Dyne Corporation, and he can’t pay his rent. Is there any hope for his future? Only if he gets recruited by the ants in his garden to save the world from a microscopic invasion of Earth!

Verdict: Thumbs up. This one was insane fun. It’s got ants singing “High Hopes,” an inflatable umbrella, an ant grub saying “IIII wuuuvvv yooouu, Henreee Pyyyym,” and the best line in the story: “No!! They’re thwarting me with song! I hate it when people do that!” This one may be an all-ages book, but it’s definitely something adults can enjoy, too.

Tiny Titans #11

More all-ages fun. This one focuses on Beast Boy’s unrequited infatuation with Terra and the many rocks he gets bopped on his skull. We also meet the new exchange student, Starfire — or Redstar. We get to see Kroc change a light bulb, Plasmus and Aqualad go to the movies, and Little Barda has the cutest giant helmet ever.

Verdict: Thumbs up again. This comic is almost impossibly cute.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #31

Spider-Man, Iron Man, Hulk, Tigra, and Luke Cage go to the beach. They run into Thor, and Iron Man and Luke get into, of all things, a fishing competition. As a result, they end up angering Namor the Sub-Mariner. And every time Namor gets mad about something, he declares war on the surface world. Can the team fight off the Prince of Atlantis and the giant sea monster he brought along?

Verdict: Thumbs up again. Not as overwhelmingly fun as the Ant-Man story, but this one has lots of action, lots of great one-liners, lots of great dialogue, and lots of great character bits. It’s definitely worth a read.

Tiny Titans #10

We got a bit more focused story this time, with Supergirl and Batgirl as our two main characters. They’re gonna go hang out with the Titans, but they’ve forgotten to feed their pets! So Streaky the Super-Cat and Ace the Bathound head off to look for them. They barely miss their owners at Titans Treehouse, then it’s off to Gotham for a picnic, where the girls get grossed out by Kroc eating garbage and take off to Metropolis. But there, they have to deal with Bizarro who eats potato chips much too noisily. Will Streaky and Ace ever catch up to their owners and get their dinner?

Verdict: Thumbs up. At least partly for this:

That’s the “Tiny Titans” version of Killer Croc. And one of the sound effects is actually “GARBAGE!” That’s just plain awesome.

PS238 #35

Tyler Marlocke has finally been cured of his alien xenovirus, thanks to a transfusion of Susie Finster’s superpowered red blood cells. Unfortunately, his clone has gotten superpowers – and he’s being piloted by an angel and a demon who can’t agree on how to make him fly and are willing to make him look good by turning innocent people into supervillains for him to defeat. In fact, every time he uses his powers, something bizarre and unexpected happens. What’s the cause of all this? It seems that the parents of half-demon/half-angel Malphast have decided they’re willing to upset the natural order just to see their son…

Verdict: Thumbs up. This one is always lots of fun. I got no idea how they’re going to clear up all the problems with Tyler and his clone.

Tiny Titans #9

The lengthier storyline this time concerns Beppo the Super-Monkey getting hold of a magic wand and then turning everyone into monkeys. This leads, as expected, to an awful lot of hijinx and monkeyshines. We also get to meet the Atom’s family (Snap! Snap!) as they hang out in Batgirl’s flowerbed.

Verdict: Not much happening here, but I’m still giving it a thumbs up, because it included Mallah the Super-Cute Beret-Wearing Gorilla, as well as a sound effect that just said “Monkey”. That’s absolutely awesome, people.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #4

Iron Man, Spider-Man, and the Hulk hang out together, beat up a bank robber, and then discover that the sonic-powered supervillain called Klaw the Unconquerable has a new career: country-western singer. And he performs wearing his supervillain costume, wearing his funky little megaphone in place of his hand, and wearing a spiffy little cowboy hat on top of the whole thing. It’s not the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen in a comic book, but it’s gotta be close. So is Klaw’s new passion of twangy music legit, or is this just another scheme?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Supervillains as country music stars — I swear, that’s absolutely brilliant. And yeah, the other characters are great. The interplay between Spidey, Shellhead, and Greengenes is outstanding. Hulk seems to get the most laughlines — his attempts to live the country-music lifestyle are very funny, and it’s nice that he’s so fond of his pants — but Spidey and Iron Man get their share of great lines, too. Heck, even Klaw’s band members are pretty nicely depicted.

Tiny Titans #8

DC’s most enjoyable kids’ comic keeps rocking. The kids get their report cards, Starfire helps Blue Beetle become Neon Technicolor Beetle, Robin is afraid of the clown at a birthday party, and the Pet Club meets in Atlantis.

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is probably one of the best issues of this series that I’ve read — every story was funny or clever, the art was grand fun, and the characterizations were just wonderful. Yes, this is a kids’ comic, but I recommend it for anyone, just because it packs so much awesomeness and fun into every issue.

And it doesn’t hurt that it includes things like this:

The Tiny Titans version of the Persuader carries an Atomic Toothbrush.

That’s awesome, baby.

Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam! #2

Being the World’s Mightiest Mortal isn’t always easy. Billy Batson may possess the Power of Shazam, but he’s still in big trouble, thanks to Theo Adam, a bully who used to the Wizard Shazam’s protege thousands of years ago. He was a real bad guy, and Shazam imprisoned him for a long time, but now that he’s escaped, he’s figured out that Billy is Captain Marvel, and he plans to find out what Billy’s magic word is so he can become a supervillain. So Billy and his sister Mary have to be careful using their magic word, or Theo will discover what it is. And when they’re finally able to reach the wizard, he reveals some more bad news — the Seven Deadly Enemies of Man have escaped their own imprisonment, and they’re now serving Theo.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Wow, this is the wordiest all-ages comic, I’ve ever read. Nothing wrong with that, ’cause they’re really well-done words. And Mike Kunkel’s art is gorgeous.

Have you noticed that just about the best comics that Marvel and DC are putting out are all-ages books?

 

Tiny Titans #7

Starfire takes the rest of the Tiny Titans into space with her so they can visit her home planet and help her clean her room. But it takes a long time to travel through space — how will the Titans keep from getting in trouble for getting home so late? All that, plus Psimon plays checkers with Mallah and the Brain.

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s the little things that make this so cool, like the way the shark toy eats the heck out of the Aquaman toy, Raven reading a “Patrick the Wolf Boy” comic, and especially the sound effects. When someone walks into a scene, the sound effects are: “Walk Walk Walk Walk.” And cleaning Starfire’s room gets sound effects like “Sweep Dust Pick Carry Put” — dang it, “Put” is a purely awesome sound effect. On top of all that, there is nothing in this world cuter than the Tiny Titans version of Monsieur Mallah and the Brain.

 

Atomic Robo: Dogs of War #1

Atomic Robo, an intelligent robot created in 1923 by Nikola Tesla, gets drafted to help fight the Nazis during World War II. The Germans have a new super-weapon, and Robo has to get to the Nazi’s secret lab in time to destroy them. Can he do it? Not if they want to keep this miniseries going for another four issues…

Verdict: Come on, it’s got robots fighting Nazis! Of course it’s a thumbs up! Robo is such a cool character, and Scott Wegener’s art is a lot of fun. There’s also quite a bit of regular wartime action, much of it done by non-robots, which is a good thing — it’s important for us to get to know the troops who will soon be threatened by those Nazi super-weapons.

 

I Kill Giants #1

A weird little story starring a fifth grader named Barbara Thorson. The local social outcast, Barbara smarts off to her teachers and family, wears bunny ears in class, abuses the other kids in her D&D games, and is absolutely obsessed with hunting and killing giants.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Like I said, a weird little story, but I love these kinds of character studies.