Well, my children, it’s the end of another thoroughly gruesome week, and one measly weekend just ain’t really gonna settle things down for us. But it’ll help. So let’s celebrate while we can with everyone’s favorite: FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from February 1983’s Marvel Two-in-One #96 by Tom DeFalco, Ron Wilson, and Mike Esposito. Ben Grimm is stuck in the hospital after a rough battle, and now a whole bunch of supervillains are on the way to finish him off.

But Marvel’s superheroes aren’t gonna let Aunt Petunia’s favorite nephew down, are they?

That’s a bunch of Marvel’s greatest superheroes beating up on the Rhino, MODOK, and a bunch of Moloids. Not a bad way to kick off the weekend, is it?

Time to get back on the Friday Night Fights train. Today’s battle comes from September 1967’s Fantastic Four #66 by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Joe Sinnott, and Artie Simek, as we’re reminded that classic Ben Grimm is just as big a jerk as classic Reed Richards.

That’ll do it for me — see y’all Monday.

We got just this one fight left in the latest round of Friday Night Fights — just one more fight featuring Ben Grimm, the Thing. So let’s just get right to it.

Today’s battle comes from May 1974’s Fantastic Four #146, by Gerry Conway, Ross Andru, and Joe Sinnott, as the Thing takes on Ternak:

Awright, you kids be good, have a fun weekend, and I’ll see y’all back here on Monday!

Well, looka here, looks like it’s time for the weekend again, and you still ain’t got no plans more sophisticated than watching TV, washing your socks, and drankin’ diet root beer. No way, my friend, that is not going to happen on my watch. We are going to get you good and pumped up for the weekend, and we’re going to do it the mindlessly violent way — with FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s fight comes from all the way back in November 1961’s landmark Fantastic Four #1 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, as Ben Grimm, in his first appearance, beats up streets and cars.

“Fool! Did you not see me in time?” There you go, ladies and gentlemen — Ben Grimm used to talk just like Dr. Doom. Wotta revoltin’ development that was…

Hey, it’s Fourth of July weekend! That means it’s time to get into a special edition of Friday Night Fights that’s guaranteed to not start fires (’cause dagblast it, it’s dry as freakin’ kindling out there!) and is a perfect representation of America itself!

(digs in Friday Night Fight Files to find something that’ll fit the necessary criteria)

(digs some more)

Well, okay, fine. I’m never going to find a battle that features the Thing that fits the criteria. You don’t think Ben Grimm would ever fight Captain America, do you? NO WAY! (And if you find something that has Ben Grimm fighting Captain America… keep it quiet, bucko.)

So instead, here’s the Thing doing what he does best: from February 1976’s Fantastic Four #176, by Roy Thomas, George Perez, and Joe Sinnott: The Thing vs. the Hulk!

There we go — enjoy your (hopefully) long weekend, eat some barbecue, listen to some Sousa marches… and NO FREAKIN’ FIREWORKS! Ya wanna burn everything up, ya loons?!

Okay, kiddios, you’ve suffered through another rough week of workday cruelty and not nearly enough maxxin’ and relaxxin’, and what we all need now to get the weekend started off right is big, thick, steamin’ bowl of… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This evening’s fightfest comes to us from August 2002’s Fantastic Four #57 by Adam Warren, Keron Grant, and Derek Fridolfs. It’s the Thing vs. a whole bunch of deformed and mutated Thing clones!

That’ll do it — y’all enjoy your weekend, and I’ll see you back here on Monday.

I’m still on hiatus, but there’s no way I can miss out on our traditional beginning of the weekend, can I? So let’s get set for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today’s battle is from September 1965’s Fantastic Four #42 by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and Vince Colletta. There’s mind-control afoot, and the Thing has temporarily turned evil and joined up with the Frightful Four. So he aims to take Johnny Storm out of the picture…

And that’s that. Backing away from the computer once again, and I’ll see y’all back here at some point next week.

Let’s get right to it — time again for FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Not necessarily Ben Grimm’s finest moment — from August 1977’s Fantastic Four #185 by Len Wein, George Perez, and Joe Sinnott. The FF go up against a bunch of spellcasters, and they force the Thing to beat himself up.

Ya know, my week has felt a lot like that, too.

I’ve had a bad case of Severe Brain-Fried Syndrome all week long, so no cute intro tonight, just… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes from September 2000’s Fantastic Four #33, by John Moore and Salvadore Larroca. It can be summed up pretty simply as: Ben Grimm vs. a DINOSAUR!

See y’all next week, provided I get some relaxation time this weekend…

Now looka here, it’s been another rough-and-tumble week, and I think we’re all needing what little break we’ll be getting from this weekend. Hope y’all are going to spend it wisely — and no, that doesn’t mean catching up on your doily collecting, cooking up tons of rutabagas, or sitting around on Saturday waiting for the world to end. I mean getting down and dirty, starting with… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes from March 1966’s Fantastic Four #48 by Stan “the Man” Lee and Jack “King” Kirby, as Ben Grimm gets into a slight disagreement with a fellow New Yorker and settles it in the traditional Big Apple way — by giving him the finger!

Now I do expect y’all to be polite to folks you have a disagreement with this weekend and refrain from rude gestures. We do all want to be polite, right? (hands out the stabbin’ knives for everyone)