Well, here we are, another cold and unpleasant pre-Christmas weekend, nothing to do but fight the crowds at WalMart in a sad effort to get a few more gifts marked off the list, all wasting precious weekend time before Monday comes back and starts the deeply awful week all over again. But as long as we’re here, we may as well try to wring some minor pleasures out of life while we can, so, you know, here’s… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from May 2013’s Superman Family Adventures #11 by Art Baltazar and Franco. Ma Kent takes some of the kids to Metropolis for a day trip…

Mmmm, Supergirl in librarian glasses…

But all is not happy in Metropolis. None other than Doomsday shows up, and Superman’s not around to get punched around by him. That leaves it all up to Earth’s Greatest Hero.

Comics should have crazy stuff like this more often.

Axe Cop: President of the World #1

Hot dog! I was not expecting a new Axe Cop series! Y’all remember Axe Cop, right? Art by 31-year-old Ethan Nicolle and written by eight-year-old Malachai Nicolle, these brothers turn out some of the craziest, funniest, most awesome comics around at the Axe Cop website. And sometimes, they put out some regular comics, too.

When last we saw Axe Cop, the dedicated crimefighter had wiped out all the bad guys and had been made president of the whole wide world, with a direct prayer line to his personal pal, God. Now he’s gotten his new executive mansion, the Gold House, built in Axeville, Washington, and people are asking when or if the bad guys will ever come back. After checking up with God, Axe Cop announces that the bad guys will be gone from Earth for one million years! But that means the bad guys will be back eventually, so Axe Cop sends all the other crimefighters and superheroes in a time machine to one million years in the future.

Meanwhile, Axe Cop adds two new members to his crimefighting team — Goo Cop, a blob of green ooze who is able to control minds with his goo and needs Axe Cop’s help to save his family, and Junior Cobbb (yes, with three B’s), a talking gorilla who grow to giant size, has robotic gun fists, and can shoot anything he wants out of his tail. He needs Axe Cop’s help to save Planet Weird Gorilla (where gorillas stand on their tippy-toes and get dumber and weirder as they grow older) from an invasion of Evil Robotic Penguins.

Can Axe Cop save everyone? Will the heroes be able to stop the bad guys when they return after a million years? And what’s going to happen if the bad guys… don’t show up?

Verdict: Thumbs up. So much wonderful, mad fun. Beautiful artwork by Ethan, too — a lot of attention always goes to Malachai, ’cause hey, eight-year-old comics writer. But Ethan’s artwork is just plain awesome, every single panel. Be sure and pay close attention to all the wonderful details, too — lots of funny bits hidden away in the background…

Superman Family Adventures #3

Aliens are attacking Metropolis! Jimmy Olsen goes to call Superman on his signal watch — but why does he keep getting the Super-Pets instead of the Man of Steel? Fuzzy the Super-Mouse gets some training in his powers from Krypto. And Lois Lane gets a little suspicious about Clark Kent’s similarities to Superman, so he has Superboy send a Superman robot to help preserve his secret identity. But when more than one robot shows up, things are going to get a lot more confusing.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Cute, funny stories and artwork. I think it’s great that these are basically classic Silver Age stories, just tweaked to make them funnier than they were before.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Here’s a thoroughly depressing post about why the Big Two are so vehemently hostile to female readers and characters.
• And a somewhat more encouraging article pointing out that female creators are having great success outside of the Big Two.
• Nice article about comics, bullying, and the value of having a hero who’ll stand up for you.

Holy zambonis, two Atomic Robo comics released on the same day?! We all must have been very, very good boys and girls this year!

Atomic Robo and the Flying She-Devils of the Pacific #1

Robo is out over the South Pacific in 1951 testing an experimental aircraft when he gets attacked by a bunch of sky pirates flying foo fighters — and then he gets defended by a squad of pilots wearing jet-packs! And once Robo gets his plane safely crash-landed on a beach, and the foo fighters are run off, he discovers that the jet-pack pilots are all girls! Yeah, holy cow, ya mouthless atomic-powered robot, way to get all judgmental about gender, dork. Anyway, they give Robo a ride on their frankly astounding flying machine and meets Hazel, Lauren, the technical genius, Valerya, the pilot, Captain May Carter, and the other members of the She-Devils, a bunch of renegades who are operating as sky pirates against all the other sky pirates in the region. But the She-Devils have plenty of enemies, and Robo’s arrival may give them the opportunity to destroy them…

Verdict: Thumbs up, of course, because Atomic Robo is awesome. I’m loving the characters we’re meeting, too. Even the ones we meet for just a few panels are interesting folks. I do think this one is going to be fun — be sure you pick it up!

Atomic Robo Presents: Real Science Adventures #3

Lots of great stuff here — the ongoing adventures of the Sparrow during World War II, Robo being trained in martial arts by Bruce Lee, and Robo forced into a surreal mental battle against a computer virus. But the best one here is “Tesla’s Electric Sky Schooner,” set in 1895, and starring, on the first page, Nikola Tesla, George Westinghouse, and Charles Fort preparing to lay siege to the terrible War Zeppelin Nemesis — but there are plenty of awesome members of their strikeforce in reserve…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Yeah, I love the stories, but wow, the art is just phenomenal. Ryan Cody, Gurihiru, John Broglia, and Christian Ward just hammer the ball outta the park. Again, far and away, my favorite story here is “Tesla’s Electric Sky Schooner” — I would love to see Brian Clevinger and Gurihiru do an ongoing series about this one. Also, how much do I love that cover with Robo as the Shadow? I love it a lot.

Superman Family Adventures #2

Bizarro makes his way to Earth, causing a huge panic in Metropolis. Supergirl and Superboy hear the racket all the way in the Fortress of Solitude (where they’re hanging out with — huzzah! — the Tiny Titans!), so Supergirl and Streaky head out to see what’s up. She has her hands full keeping him from tearing the city apart, and even Superman has trouble with him. But Supergirl eventually gets the situation handled… with ice cream! With Bizarro calmed down, they bring him to the Fortress, but it’s not long before he’s causing more havoc, by releasing all the Kryptonian animals and scattering Kryptonite everywhere! How are Supergirl and Superboy going to clean up this mess?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Cute artwork, funny storytelling, good all-ages fun.

Today’s Cool Links:

• I got a friend who could use some help. Can you help give her a hand up, please?
• A distant ancestor of both humans and sharks? I favor this very strongly.
• She’s the tops in the business in both exploring… and ACTION.

Superman Family Adventures #1

Huzzah! Art Baltazar and Franco are making comics again!

After the completely unnecessary cancellation of “Tiny Titans,” the superstar all-ages creators are back with “Superman Family Adventures,” which focuses on Superman, Supergirl, Superboy, Krypto, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, Perry White, and Lex Luthor. In fact, this first issue hits a vast number of very familiar story beats of the Man of Steel — Supes busts up a meteor, Perry White yells at Clark, Lois disses Clark, Perry yells at Jimmy, Luthor sends robots against the city.

But we get some interesting twists on the formula. They actually use the Rebooted versions of the heroes’ costumes — but with enough nods to the old uniforms that they don’t end up looking completely ridiculous. Specifically, Superman doesn’t wear armor. Jim Lee could learn something important from this. We get a new character, too — a superpowered mouse called Fuzzy. And on top of all that, Jimmy Olsen gets Perry White his coffee. All’s well that ends well!

Verdict: Thumbs up. A cute story amusingly told. As you’d expect from the folks who brought you “Tiny Titans,” the art is funny and smart, the characters are excellent, and the situations are often enjoyably goofball. It’s a great all-ages book, parents, so get your kids hooked on it now.

Snarked #8

The Cheshire Cat pays a visit to Queen Scarlett, Prince Rusty, Wilburforce J. Walrus (currently down in the dumps over losing the love of his life, a penguin), and Clyde McDunk to tell them that they’re close to Snark Island and to offer them some special glasses that will keep them from seeing the fierce Boojums (one look at them, and you vanish into thin air). Unfortunately, the Gryphon attacks and brings along a special whistle he uses to control… the Bandersnatch! While the frumious monster attacks the crew, the Gryphon goes after Scarlett and Rusty. Can the Walrus stop the Gryphon? Can the Carpenter defeat the Bandersnatch?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of excellent action this time around. Yeah, the series still brings lots of funny moments, but this time, there’s even more action than normal. And just about everyone gets their moment to shine — some of ’em get more than one moment, which is entirely fine with me. Y’all go pick it up — and go track down the previous issues, too, okay?

Today’s Cool Links:

• Why didn’t anyone tell me there was a Twitter account for Atomic Robo’s Dr. Dinosaur? Did you all want me to miss out on the best crazy dinosaur genius in the world?
• Apparently, there’s going to be Olympic Quidditch this year.
• In more serious news, after watching this horrible, horrible video, I’ve decided we’ve hit the point where we don’t deserve to continue as a species. Let’s give the cockroaches their turn — they can’t be as screwed up as we are.