Read this blog… or we shoot the Flash!

Hi there. My name’s Scott Slemmons. I’m the guy who does the online updating for FrenshipToday.com, plus I’m a general low-level flunky for LubbockOnline. Really, seriously low-level. Technically, the company cat can fire me.

So anyway, I decided I wanted to do a comics blog. ‘Cause, ya know, I read a lot of comics, and I like getting to write about why they work, and why they don’t work, and assorted and sundry other geeky stuff.

So I give a heads-up to Scott Phillips, LubbockOnline’s weblog guru and the guy who stole my first name. “Hey, Phillips,” says I. “I’d like to do a comic book weblog. When do I start?”

“Oh, hey, look at that,” Scott replies, suddenly looking over at the big TV mounted on the wall of the newsroom. “Anna Nicole Smith died.” The TV is currently switched off.

“Don’t change the subject,” I say. “I think it’d be pretty cool. Comics are pretty big business, and an important American cultural touchstone. They inspire movies, TV shows, novels. Sure, there’s a lot of dreck out there, but there are a lot of really wonderful comics, too. I could do reviews, analysis, historical stuff. I could also just geek out over cool comics and make fun of the dreck. I think it’d work.”

“Whoa, it’s lunchtime already?” says Scott, turning and sprinting for the door. “Better get going.” Of course, it’s just 9:15 a.m.

Well, okay, fine. Phillips is taking an early, early lunch break. “Hey, Judy! Scott Phillips said I could have a comic book weblog! Ain’t that great! No, no need to mention it to him. Could you make one of those awesome top-of-the-page headers for it? Muchos gracias!”

So, by hook and/or crook, I’ve got my comic book blog. But first, let’s make a few things clear, so we don’t misunderstand each other.

(A) I think of the modern-day comic book as a mostly adult medium. Some of the books I read include characters who cuss a lot, or indulge in really graphic violence, or run around without pants. If I recommend a comic book, that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for your kid. I believe that parents should review comics before they buy them for their kids to make sure there’s nothing there they won’t like.

(B) And because I think of comics as something adults can enjoy reading, I plan on talking about them as an adult. No, that doesn’t mean I plan on throwing F-bombs around or posting gory or pornographic pictures. But from time to time, we’ll be talking about politics in comics, religion in comics, race in comics, controversial comics, you name it. Honestly, at some point, we’ll discuss sex in comics — no, not porn, but the issues of sex, sexuality, body images, misogyny and more are currently very big in the comics industry, and there’s not much of a way to avoid ’em. There is more to comics than just escapist entertainment.

(C) But hey, escapist entertainment ain’t bad either, so we’ll try to have fun, too.

(D) Comics fans, I plan on talking about some stuff that you already know about. Yes, we all know that Alan Moore is awesome, that Grant Morrison’s JLA was the best ever, that MODOK fills our hearts with joy, that Rob Liefeld fills our hearts with rage. But there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll have an unusual number of readers who aren’t (or at least, aren’t yet) comics fans. So you comics readers will need to be patient while I explain some of the awesome stuff to the newbies.

(E) And non-comics fans, I’ll try to make sure everything makes some sort of sense. But sometimes, I’m just gonna post pictures of MODOK over and over and over, and if you complain, I’ll shoot you with my atomic zamboni pistol, see if I don’t.

(F) You probably won’t see me reviewing a lot of comic book movies or TV shows. The last comic book movies I saw and enjoyed were “V for Vendetta” and “Hellboy,” and I don’t watch “Heroes” or “Smallville” at all. I’ve had my heart broken by too many badly adapted comic book movies, and I now tend to avoid them altogether. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is.

(G) I prefer DC Comics to Marvel. I’ve picked up a few long runs of Marvel’s books from time to time, but I just tend to gravitate toward DC’s stuff. I don’t think there’s any deep reason why — from childhood, I’ve always been a DC reader more than a Marvel reader.

(H) I reserve the right to blog about non-comics subjects from time to time. I like comics, but I like other stuff, too.

There we go — introductions are out of the way. Better get this posted before Phillips gets back from lunch…