Some of you may have been watching news about the craziness in Wisconsin — some of you may not have. It hasn’t been all over the news the way I expected it to be, but here’s a short summary.

Wisconsin’s new governor is named Scott Walker. There are two things he really, really doesn’t like: unions and state employees. So his new budget essentially outlawed public employee unions in Wisconsin and stuck it hard to most state employees, forcing them to pay more out of their salaries for insurance.

Unsurprisingly, this wasn’t well received. What was surprising, however, was that protests took off like a rocket. Thousands of people protested at the state capitol for most of last week. The Democrats in the Wisconsin state legislature pulled a vanishing act to give protests time to sway more Republican legislators away from the governor’s POV.

Since then, we’ve learned that Walker actually cooked the books to make the budget shortfall look worse because he hoped to use against the state employees.

So why do I care about this? I don’t live in Wisconsin, no one in my family lives in Wisconsin, and the budget doesn’t affect comics.

Well, for one thing, I work for the state now, and I’ve worked for the state multiple times in the past. My brother and sister both work for the government, my dad worked for the government, and I’ve got cousins who work for the government. My granddad worked for the government. The idea of a governor — any governor — with a mad-on to screw over state employees strikes me as deeply irrational.

I don’t belong to a union, but I’ve got no argument with ’em either. I like the fact that the unions got us the 40-hour work week and the weekend. I like the idea of minimum wages. I like workplace safety. I like the fact that there’s a check on the power of corporate management. I know there are lots of good businesses out there who’ll bend over backwards to make sure their employees are getting a fair shake… but at the same time, I’ve worked for too many low-down snakes who cheated customers, employees, and everyone else they could. I’m under no illusions that our corporate masters are blameless geniuses who serve only the glory of the Invisible Hand of the Marketplace, a’ight?

I don’t understand the current rage at public employees for either existing or for receiving decent wages and benefits. I know some pundits out there think that, if things are tough for private employees, they should be tough for everyone else, too. (But never for the bankers, CEOs, and con artists at the top, have you noticed that? If they get less than their usual multi-million-dollar bonuses, it means the terrists have won. Trillions of dollars to bailout the corporate goons who wrecked the economy, but heaven forefend if teachers or state employees get paid enough to make the payments on their homes.)

So why should comic book fans care?

Because management at DC spent years screwing Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster out of the profits for creating Superman.

Because management at Marvel screwed Jack Kirby out of money, and health and employment benefits for years.

Because management at DC has never acknowledged the contributions of Batman co-creator Bill Finger as much as they did for Bob Kane.

Because DC pushed out Gardner Fox and a lot of their other creators, including Finger, Otto Binder, and Arnold Drake, in the late ’60s because they dared to request health insurance and employment benefits. And I can’t count the number of Golden and Silver Age creators who died, if not penniless, at least a lot less comfortable than they should’ve been.

I’m glad there are groups around like the HERO Initiative, which works to raise money to pay the expenses of creators who are too old or sick to work, but I also can’t help wishing that Siegel, Shuster, Kirby, Finger, Fox, and the rest of them had had a union on their side watching out for their interests.

Sure, it’s not like any budget in Wisconsin is going to allow comic creators to live better lives — this is strictly going to be for the betterment of state employees in the Badger State. Ultimately, it’s all down to compassion and empathy — we root for the underdogs like Siegel and Shuster and Jack Kirby, like Wisconsin’s state employees, for the same reason we always root for the underdogs — because we’re all underdogs. And when the underdogs don’t get crushed by the powerful, it means maybe we all have a chance.

We put our blind faith in business and corporations at our peril. It’s not that business is evil, but the purpose of business is to MAKE MONEY, and too many businesses will choose to prioritize money at the expense of, well, the rest of us. We’ve seen it happen dozens of times in the past, both within the comics industry and outside of it.

I see nothing at all wrong with being able to tell business and the modern breed of pro-business/anti-worker politicians that it’s okay to make wads of cash — as long as they don’t cross certain lines. I think Walker (and governors in other states, like Ohio, Florida… and maybe Texas? We’ll see…) are prioritizing megacorp/pundit ideologies over the welfare of their own constituents.

That’s a dangerous path to travel down, and I’m very happy that people in Wisconsin have been so enthusiastic about supporting their state employees.

So Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada apologized because the teabaggers got added into an issue of “Captain America,” and for some reason, the teabaggers got mad, possibly because all they ever do is get mad, so Joe apologized because — I don’t know why.

Quesada hasn’t apologized to me yet for having Spider-Man sell his soul to the devil, or for cancelling “She-Hulk” and “Captain Britain” and “Marvel Adventures: The Avengers”… but all the crazy screaming people get apologized to because they got put into a comic book? No big surprise they’re yelling that his apology isn’t enough. I’m not sure what they want him to do — kill himself? Kill the writer? Blow up a federal building? Did Joe think the teabaggers were gonna go out and buy some comic books? Methinks not, man — once you’re the focus of the Two Minutes Hate, you never get back on their good side again.

So here’s my open letter to Big Joe Q — I’m sure he’ll be keen to read it. As long as he’s paying attention to tiny fringe groups with questionable sanity, I’m sure he’ll want to bookmark me and read me all the time:

“Dear Joe,

Please stop apologizing to the angry screaming people who hang teabags on their hats.

Ignore them, and they’ll forget about you as soon as they get distracted by whatever random object enrages them next. When you give them the attention they crave, they write your name down in their ‘These Guys Are Easy Marks Who We Can Get to Pay Attention to Us’ book, and they’ll just keep screaming at you.

P.S.: Jeph Loeb and Brian Bendis aren’t as great as you think they are. Please stop giving them so much work. Or any work. Good luck with the ‘Heroic Age’ stuff, but betwixt you and me, I reckon y’all will be right back to killing off B-list superheroes before the end of the year.

Hugs and kisses,
That Dude Who Writes ‘Hero Sandwich'”

I’d share with y’all my open letter to Dan DiDio at DC, but I don’t think y’all want to be exposed to quite that many F-bombs…

I’ve been avoiding opening my big mouth about the recent contested Iranian election — I know so little about the situation over there, and I don’t want to be just another loudmouthed American shouter who thinks he’s an expert just because he’s read some blogs. I know there are a lot of folks out there who think Twittering about the Iranian election is their contribution to Iranian freedom, which honestly strikes me as colossally self-inflating: “I twittered about the election and re-colored my blog green in solidarity! That makes me a freedom-fighter even though I’m in no danger of being shot by Iranian soldiers!” Ya get right down to it, there ain’t a single thing any Americans can do to influence this, no matter how much we might wish we could — it’s ultimately all down to the Iranian people.

Oh, okay, I’ve got two observations about the Iranian election.

• First, you remember Mir-Hossein Mousavi, the opposition candidate who officially lost the election but probably got it stolen from him, right? Not many people seem to realize that he was actually a member of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini’s government right after the revolution. So, yeah, almost certainly a better guy than Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, but no pure driven angel either.
• Second, sorry to say it, but Ahmadinejad is a hard word to say. You think if we can trick him into saying his name backwards, he’ll disappear into the Fifth Dimension for 90 days?

Okay, seriously, some of y’all may remember last year when I reviewed Marjane Satrapi’s brilliant graphic novel “Persepolis” — Satrapi was in the news just a few days ago after presenting a document she thinks proves the election was fraudulent.

“Ahmadinejad received only 12 percent of the vote, not 65 percent,” said Satrapi, according to Adnkronos. She and Makhmalbaf presented the document, which they claimed came directly from the Iranian electoral commission, to the Green Party MPs in the European parliament.

Satrapi and Makhmalbaf believe that the democratic process in Iran was derailed when election results were ignored and replaced with fraudulent results naming Ahmadinejad as the winner with more than 65 percent of the vote.

Satrapi, who was born in Iran to Marxist parents, discussed her personal and family histories in the country in “Persepolis” and has gone on to compose two more graphic novels “Embroideries” and “Chicken with Plums,” the latter of which she and director Vincent Paronnaud are seeking to adapt into a live-action film.

Also, let me throw in one more plug for “Persepolis” — there’s obviously no info about this most recent election, but Satrapi’s graphic novel is definitely a great way to learn more about the Iranian people and see some of the ways that the last three decades of history have influenced them and their culture. I visited some of the local bookstores this weekend, and they look like they stocked up with a lot of extra copies of “Persepolis” — I reckon they think folks might be interested in an accessible and entertaining introduction to the Iranian people. Go out and pick up a copy today.

All told, it’s looking like it’s gonna be a pretty good day for Barack Obama, what with taking the oath of office and becoming the President of the United States and all that.

I was digging through my archives the other day and realized that, though there have been a lot of presidential guest-appearances in comics over the past few decades, there have been mighty few who were showing up in comics before their inaugurations.

After all, Obama starred in a nonfictional biography comic:

He teamed up with Spider-Man:

(Of course, who hasn’t teamed up with Spider-Man. I think Frog-Man has had more guest-appearances with Spidey than Obama has. Kinda takes the polish off that little honor…)

Obama has made more than one appearance with the Savage Dragon:

And he even got his photo snapped with the Man of Steel:

If there’s a downside to all this attention the comics world has been paying him, it’s gotta be this:

Yeah, Barack Obama is going to get drawn by talentless crapmonkey Rob Liefeld. I don’t think I’d wish a fate that horrible on anyone…

There were a couple of different comics that I didn’t pick up this week. Actually, I didn’t even get a chance to get them — they weren’t in the store when I made it in. Could be because they were already sold out. Could be because they weren’t included in this week’s shipment — something that happens quite a lot. Still, even if they’d been available, I don’t think I would’ve bought them. But let’s talk about them a bit anyway.

The Amazing Spider-Man #583

Yeah, the issue where soon-to-be President Barack Obama does the terrorist fist jab with Spider-Man. I’d already heard from a friend who’d seen the comic earlier that he didn’t think it was a very good story, and I was already leery of this being something I’d buy, read, find boring, and want to get rid of ASAP. So it wasn’t appealing to me at all. Just another publicity stunt by Marvel, though by all accounts, it’s been an uncommonly successful publicity stunt — Marvel’s gone back for three printings already to keep up with the demand.

Final Crisis #6

Well, like I’d said previously, I’m quitting the crossovers, especially the crossovers that are $4 instead of $3. I’ve already heard that Grant Morrison finally delivers what he said he’d have in the “Batman R.I.P.” storyarc — the death of Batman. He gets zapped by Darkseid’s “Omega Effect” right after shooting him in the shoulder with a big gun. Way to go, Bats, you actually use a gun on someone, on the biggest, baddest villain in the DCU, a guy who’s planning on killing, well, everyone, and you still can’t shoot him in the head. Great work, man.

Also, please feel free to gasp in wonder at the stunning and humiliating depths of ineptitude displayed by DC’s public relations office. You’re part of a gigantic media megalith like Warner Brothers. You’ve just “killed” the most popular superhero in the world. And you can’t even get a mention on the news because everyone’s talking about Marvel’s publicity stunt with Barack Obama. Congratulations, DC Comics, you are officially the Gang that Couldn’t Shoot Straight.

And in a related topic, could I direct y’all’s attention to this silliness over at Valerie D’Orazio’s joint, referring to the new issue of “Final Crisis”?

This book comes out the same day as the Spider-Man Obama cover. Such a contrast in energy, direction.

I choose hope.

Puhhh-lease. The death of Batman and the guest-appearance of Obama have exactly the same goals: sales. In fact, the energy and direction of both events is blatantly, unashamedly cynical — fake events, publicity-seeking nothingness, and short-term sales boosts. Will Batman stay dead? Certainly not. Did Obama’s appearance serve any greater story? Certainly not. Both events are there only because the publishers believe that readers will buy into the hype and buy the comics.

If anything, I think the Spider-Man comic may actually be more cynical. Marvel head-honcho Joe Quesada has said they published the story only because they found out that Obama is a Spidey fan. It’s the equivalent of a commemorative plate. I don’t blame Marvel for publishing it — if I was in charge of the company, I’d be nuts not to hook my wagon to an incredibly popular president-elect. But let’s not ascribe unearned nobility to what is simply a fairly shrewd PR ploy.

Oh, and one more thing, ’cause I just can’t let this go yet. As far as all the “hope” at Marvel, and the “contrast in energy, direction” between Marvel and DC — in the past few years, Marvel has killed off Captain America, the Wasp, and Kitty Pryde, and had Spider-Man make a deal with the Devil to end his marriage. It takes more than a back-up story guest-starring a popular politician to erase years of cynical storytelling. The contrast between Marvel and DC is nil.

Man, Spider-Man gets to meet all the interesting public figures. Late last year, he got to hang out with Stephen Colbert, now he’s all set to meet Barack Obama.

On Jan. 14, Marvel Comics is releasing a special issue of Amazing Spider-Man #583 with Obama depicted on the cover. Inside are five pages of the two teaming up and even a fist-bump between Spidey and the new president.

“It was a natural after we learned the new president is a Spider-Man fan,” says Marvel editor in chief Joe Quesada about reports that Obama once collected Spider-Man comics. “We thought, ‘Fantastic! We have a comic-book geek in the White House.’ ”

The White House transition team did not respond to a question about the extent of Obama’s comic-book geekiness, but Obama did mention Spider-Man during the campaign, primarily at children-oriented events. And during an Entertainment Weekly pop culture survey, Obama said Batman and Spider-Man were his top superheroes because of their “inner turmoil.” (John McCain picked Batman.)

In the story by Zeb Wells, Todd Nauck and Frank D’Armata, Spider-Man stops the Chameleon from spoiling Obama’s swearing-in. At one point, Spider-Man says he mistook Vice President-elect Joe Biden for the Vulture (a vintage Spider-Man villain).

This is due to hit the stands next week, but if you want this one, ya better get to the stores early on New Comics Day — they’re expecting this issue to sell out fast.

(Link courtesy of ComicBookResources)

I stumbled onto this interview with Barack Obama a few days back, where Entertainment Weekly quizzed him on his pop culture preferences. One of the questions was:

Last question, and the fate of the Republic hangs on your answer: If you could be any superhero, which superhero would you be?

I was always into the Spider-Man/Batman model. The guys who have too many powers, like Superman, that always made me think they weren’t really earning their superhero status. It’s a little too easy. Whereas Spider-Man and Batman, they have some inner turmoil. They get knocked around a little bit.

So, naturally for me, I wondered if this was the answer that proved that Obama was a great big geek. Initially, I nixed the idea — if you’re asking someone who their favorite superheroes are, there’s a really good chance you’re going to get Batman, Superman, or Spider-Man name-dropped, just because they’re the most popular and best-known characters out there. That answer doesn’t prove you’re a geek — it proves you have a very general awareness of American pop culture.

On the other hand, there’s also the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, in which Obama and McCain both gave humorous, self-deprecatory speeches. Part of Obama’s speech included this line:

Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jor-el, to save the planet Earth.

Proof of geekdom? Well, it’s proof that one of his speechwriters is a geek, but is there anything that indicates that the President-Elect is a current or former comic reader?

Hey, what’s this I see in this list of “50 Things You May Not Know about Obama”?

He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics

Whoa. By Crom, that appears to be confirmation!

Does this mean we’re going to start seeing Washington’s power players, politicos, and pundits reading Grant Morrison’s comics and Robert E. Howard books to get insights into the new president’s personality and outlook? Could potentially lead to a bit too much rigid good-vs.-evil thinking, which is always a problem in Washington, but it might be cool to see a little more mainstreaming of comics culture…

And on top of being a comic reader, Obama is also a Trekkie, according to Leonard Nimoy…

About a year and a half ago I was at a political event and one of our current campaigners for the office of President of the United States saw me, approached, and he gave me the Vulcan signal… it was not John McCain.

On top of that, the article notes that he namedrops “dilithium crystals” in casual conversation. Dude, that’s nerrrrdy.

DC Universe Decisions #4

The assassin targeting the presidential candidates has finally been identified — it’s Jericho, the Teen Titans’ body-possessor, and he’s somehow turned evil yet again. He’s also managed to take over Green Lantern’s body, so he’s got the Most Powerful Weapon in the Universe sitting on his finger. Luckily, Hal is able to expel him before he does too much damage, and the superhero psychic Mento determines that in the process of jumping from one body to the next, Jericho has managed to acquire traces of the personalities of hundreds of people, and it’s turned him into a psychotic loon. As for all the problems with superheroes endorsing politicians, Superman apparently solves it all by speechifying.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Supes comes across as an opinionless weasel, and the stuff with Jericho was just embarrassing. It was just a year or two that DC worked their tails off to redeem him into a non-villainous character, and now they’ve chucked him back down the hole again. This entire series was pushed as an explicitly political story, and in the end, it just ended up being dull, middle-of-the-road, and afraid to express any strong political opinions at all. What a waste.

Final Crisis: Rage of the Red Lanterns

Okay, Sinestro is going to be executed by the Green Lantern Corps, so they take him back to his home planet of Korugar because… I really don’t know. Anyway, the new Red Lantern Corps, composed of people who can harness great hatred and rage, is on the rise, and their primary attack appears to be vomiting blood on their enemies. Their members include Atrocitus the demon, Laira, a former Green Lantern, and a pretty blue kitty. The Red Lanterns jump into a fight between the Green Lanterns and the Sinestro Corps, and we get our first glimpse of the Blue Lantern.

Verdict: I think I’m going to give this a thumbs down, too. The blood puking is really pretty silly.

The Family Dynamic #3

Troylus, Terran, and Little Wing swing into action against Monstero and quickly find themselves over their heads. Luckily, their parents show up to help take down the villain. Afterwards, at Sloane’s birthday party, it becomes clear that he’s the only person in the family who doesn’t know that his sister and niece are Blackbird and Little Wing. And before anyone can spill the beans to him, a new villain appears — Replik8, a duplicater with a weird beehive hairdo.

Verdict: Ehh, not bad, but not all that great, either. The back-and-forth between the family members is grand fun, and I’m not sure we need quite so many supervillains anyway, especially when they seem to come and go so quickly.

Spider-Man wants you to vote! Spider-Man is happy to vote! Don’t you want to be happy like Spider-Man?!

Okay, actually, I’m in a really foul mood today. Partly because I wish I had more vacation days, partly because I hate getting my internal clock screwed up by Daylight Savings Time, partly because I know I’m gonna have to stay at the office extra late tonight helping with election returns. Partly because I’m just cranky, and that’s all there is to it.

Partly because I hear people making dumb excuses for skipping voting.

I’m not going to say I vote in every election, ’cause I don’t. When the only thing on the ballot is one city council seat and the railroad commissioner, I’ll probably skip that one.

But come on, when it’s the presidential election, you shouldn’t skip.

“I don’t wanna vote. Voting’s boring. Only losers vote.”

I’m sorry, I can’t actually respond to you. If I respond to you using the language you actually deserve, I’ll be arrested for Using Rude Language That Makes Sailors Weep And Soil Themselves In Utter Horror, which is actually a hangin’ offense in Texas.

“My boss won’t let me off work to vote!”

Yes, actually, he will, ’cause he has to. If he doesn’t let you go vote, he’s breaking the law. So go vote.

“Ohh, but the lines are so long this year! I hate long lines!”

Shut up, shut up, shut up. I swear, whining about lines is just looking to honk me off good. You’ll stand in line to get a box of cheese crackers, a two-liter bottle of root beer, and a bucket of Crisco, you’ll stand in line to get into a club with overpriced drinks and bad music, you’ll stand in line to see the latest under-written blockbuster at the theater, you’ll go park yourself outside Jones Stadium for three days to see Tech beat the Longhorns, but when it comes to getting in line to help pick your leaders, all of a sudden, yer a delicate flower? No, no, you go vote and quitcher whining.

“Um, well, I forgot to register.”

Well, sure enough, there’s no way you’re gonna be able to vote, but now I’m going to have to hit you with the Planet Mars.

“Why bother? There’s no difference between the candidates.”

Oh, I swear, I should kill you six or eight times just on general principles. Was your brain somehow removed by renegade brain surgeons? Do you obtain all your information about current events by staring into the sun and making chicken noises? Are you trying to make me angry enough to insert a porcupine into your urethra?

“One or two votes will never make a difference.”

Oh, hey, the 2000 Election called, and it wants to stab you with a narwhal.

Vote, dang it. Vote! VOTE!

Well, the election is tomorrow. Seems like a great time to talk politics and comics again.

“Transmetropolitan” seems like an especially appropriate topic — Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson’s epic and controversial series paid more attention to the subject of presidential politics than any other comic series I’ve ever seen. Our setting was the City — that’s all, just the City — in a cyberpunk and dystopian — but still fairly funny — future. Folks are splicing themselves with alien DNA, you can go into restaurants and eat human flesh, police brutality is the expected norm, and a popular TV show focuses on puppet pornography. Everywhere you turn, there’s sex and violence and more sex and more violence. Into this urban wasteland steps our noble and incorruptible hero:

That’s Spider Jerusalem: rageoholic, atheist, misanthrope, drug abuser, frequent nudist, and righteous journalist.

No, this isn’t your typical hero — there’s a scene where he injects drugs into his eyes, he kills several people, he commits assault and battery quite casually, he hurls grenades off his apartment balcony, he propositions random women for sex, and his weapon of preference is a specialized gun called a bowel disruptor, which does pretty much what you’d expect it to do. But for all that, he’s still the most trustworthy, most moral, and generally best person in the series.

Not sure if he’s the picture-perfect journalist, but if more of them operated like Spider, maybe we’d have more politicians who’d be less willing to lie to the press. Ain’t nothing to make a politico clean up his act like being told, “I know you lied to me, so I’m going to beat you senseless with the fender from a ’58 Chrysler, then I’m going to print an article telling everyone you’re a lying bucket of yak vomit.” Heck, I’d be happy if they left out the horrible beatings, as long as they’d burn sources who lied to ’em.

Anyway, Spider sees the pursuit and revelation of The Truth as an almost religious calling, and there’s nothing that makes him madder than corruption.

Unsurprisingly, this means he runs afoul of these two guys.

Two different presidents, the Beast and the Smiler.

The Beast is a fairly petty tyrant, but at the end of the day, he’s just interested in getting through the day with himself and as many of the American people as possible alive. He’s massively corrupt, and he likes to punish people who go against him. He hates the City, and vice versa. He hates Spider, and vice versa.

In the interest of getting the Beast out of the White House, Spider initially and grudgingly supports Gary Callahan, nicknamed the Smiler because of his rigid and obviously insincere smile. Unfortunately, what Spider initially figures is just your garden-variety politician-grade neurosis is actually full-blown psychopathic megalomania — Callahan is a master manipulator and a complete sociopath. He stages riots, uses and abuses prostitutes, makes deals with really awful people. He kills multiple people, including his wife and kids, because he wants the political sympathy boost that he’d get from their deaths. He hates everyone, particularly Spider, and once elected, he makes it his primary goal to do everything he can to hurt the City, Spider, and the entire human race. In comparison, the Beast almost comes off as a good guy — that’s how rotten Gary Callahan is.

Warren Ellis is a pretty hardcore liberal. (Conservatives and squicky parents should use extreme caution in visiting his website.) It’s pretty clear that he based the Beast on Richard Nixon (though both the Beast and Callahan use Nixon’s “If the President does it, it’s not a crime” philosophy to justify their actions), but there’s quite a bit of dispute on who the Smiler is based on. Some folks think it’s George W. Bush, some folks think it’s John Edwards. I think it’s really unlikely to be Edwards, despite the similarities in appearance, just because when Ellis introduced Callahan, Edwards was a really, really minor politician. I also don’t think he’s based on Bush, for the same reason, but I also think that as the series progressed and Bush became more prominent, the Smiler became more similar to Bush. I think it’s most likely that Ellis based the Smiler on former British prime minister Tony Blair. Ellis is a Brit, after all — seems that he’d base his primary villain on a politician he was more familiar with.

Was there a deeper meaning to the series? Maybe not — part of what made “Transmetropolitan” such a great series is that it’s just a ripping yarn from beginning to end. But I do think that Ellis also believes, like Spider, that we should expect more from our politicians, that we should hold them responsible when they’re exposed as corrupt, whether we initially supported them or not, and that we should elect better people to lead us.

I dunno if Ellis gives a rat’s patoot whether or not you vote. But I do. You should go out and vote tomorrow, if you haven’t voted already, and you should care enough for your country that you give some actual thought into who deserves your vote the most. Not who yer momma wants you to vote for, not who your neighbor wants you to vote for, not who the babbling buffoons on TV want you to vote for. Vote like a grownup — like an honest grownup, not some delusional “I’ll believe whatever bulldada a politician tells me so I can feel good about myself” nitwit — and not a freakin’ sheep. Think about the choice you have to make, because it’s a pretty important choice.