I’ve been horribly neglecting my responsibility to provide you all with semi-regular exposure to things that are AWESOME, so let’s go ahead and start remedying that situation right now.

Our first Dose of Awesome pondered the many mysteries of the ninja — today, let’s look at the ninja’s natural enemy: the pirate!

You can learn a lot of important and relevant information about pirates here. But the more entertaining stuff is here.

Pirates have been entirely beloved by all right-thinking people since at least 1881, when Robert Louis Stevenson published “Treasure Island.” Recent years have seen pirate movies and pirate books and even Talk Like a Pirate Day. And of course, the Red Raiders have embraced all things pirate in recent years.

Even the ladies love pirates! No, I’m serious, I think they’re totally into ’em. Well, at least they’re totally into Johnny Depp in “Pirates of the Caribbean” so that’s close enough.

This is the only way to make pirates more awesome.

Ahoy, maties, hoist the jolly roger high! It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day! Yarrr!

 

Aye, lad, the captain of the Black Freighter wants ye to talk like a pirate this day, or he’ll have yer guts fer garters! Aarrr!

 

Avast ye, even those sissified, mutant-flogging space pirates in the Spacejammers want ye to talk like a pirate every bloody September 19, or they’ll keelhaul ye scurvy dogs!

 

Yarrr, that rocky landlubber Ben Grimm wants ye to talk like a pirate, too! Step lively, too, or ye’ll be dancin’ with Jack Ketch afore the day’s done!

ARRRRR!