Hellboy: The Crooked Man #2

We got two horror masters working on this one. Mike Mignola, creator of Hellboy, handles the writing, while Richard Corben takes care of the art. Hellboy, Tom Ferrell, and Cora Fisher are heading for a church in the Appalachian Mountains to bury Tom’s father. But the witches in the area — including the creepy, subterranean, monster-witches who live in the mines below — don’t want Cora to get away from them, so they hex her until her body explodes with hordes of eyeless albino frogs, bats, snakes and centipedes! Yuck! When Tom and Hellboy finally get to the church, they find it mostly ruined, but the blind preacher who runs it tells them that Cora’s soul was saved and that the church, as consecrated ground, is guaranteed safe ground from witches. But is it safe from the evil Crooked Man himself?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very creepy. I mean, very, very creepy. Most Hellboy stories tend to have as much pulp action in ’em as horror, but this one, so far, is pretty pure scary stuff. Grand fun.

 

B.P.R.D.: The Warning #2

The entire B.P.R.D. team mobilizes to track down Gilfryd, the immortal mad sorceror who’s been invading Liz Sherman’s mind. They find his temple in the South American jungles, but they can’t find him. Or rather, he won’t let them find him. He puts the rest of the squad in a trance and appears to Liz alone, threatening to kill everyone if she doesn’t come with him. Everyone else gets caught completely flat-footed — Liz vanishes, Gilfryd gets away, and they even lose their transport planes to sabotage.

Verdict: I think I’ll give it a thumbs up. Nothing real fancy, but the story’s advancing nicely, and we still get some good creepy moments.

 

The Goon #27

We take a break from our regular storyline to get a trio of stories here. First, Eric Powell brings us the, umm, heartwarming story of a zombie momma and her horde of gross but devoted zombie-monster babies. After that, Kyle Holtz sends the Goon and Frankie on a quest to track down the monstrous and smelly Skunk Ape in its new disguise. Finally, Rebecca Sugar has a short story about the criminal mad scientist Dr. Alloy. And Eric’s letter column includes news about the cage fighter and roller derby team he’s sponsoring. Plus, bank managers in South Africa and China want Eric to send them some money!

Verdict: Baby, I do believe “The Goon” always gets a thumbs up. Funny, goofy, gross, and weird, so it’s got all the stuff I love.

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #1

Okay, “Hellboy II: The Golden Army” opens in theaters today, so let’s review a new “Hellboy” comic to get in the mood. This story is set back in 1958, with Hellboy going on walkabout in the Appalachian Mountains. He meets up with a guy named Tom Ferrell, who sold his soul to the devil but then chickened out on the deal and took off. Now he’s come back, and he and Hellboy head out to lay the smackdown on the witches, demons, and devil worshippers plaguing the area.

Verdict: Thumbs up. First of all, it’s written by Mike Mignola, who is absolutely aces on pulp horror. And it’s illustrated by Richard Corben, who, as I’ve mentioned recently, is an awesomely slam-bang horror artist. And this story is chock-full of cool horror imagery, from the emptied witch-skin to the defaced Bible to the near-skeletal horse to the evil Crooked Man himself. The only less-than-awesome thing is that Hellboy himself doesn’t have much to do here — he’s mostly asking questions and listening while Tom Ferrell tells him what’s going on. But I trust it won’t be long before he’s hitting demons with that big stone fist…

House of Mystery #3

Well, I don’t have any other new Hellboy or B.P.R.D. comics to review right now, so let’s keep things in the same dark-fantasy genre. Fig, the House’s new permanent resident, tries in vain to escape over the wall that surrounds the property, but it’s no use — she’s one of the five people who can never leave the property unless invited by the ominous coachman who sometimes visits the House. Meanwhile, in the spotlight story, a low-level gangster spins a yarn about a very close shave against some tough mobsters.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The spotlight story is a bit dull, and not at all horror, but the rest of the book is suitably spooky, especially the segment at the end with the coachman and Rina, the last person to be allowed to leave the House. And I gotta say, I’m really digging these covers by Sam Weber — so far, they’ve all been beautiful masterpieces of creepiness, and I entirely approve.

I picked up my free comics from Free Comic Book Day almost a week late, ’cause I was too busy volunteering at the Comic Book Expo to pick up any goodies. But I grabbed a few on Thursday when I went to pick up my latest comics fix, so what say we take a quick look at ’em now?

 

Hellboy: Free Comic Book Day

We get three short stories here — “The Mole” has Hellboy dealing with a skin condition that can’t be cleared up at the dermatologist. “Out of Reach” is a thoroughly enigmatic story set just after the events of the recent “B.P.R.D.: Killing Ground” series, with Johann Krauss, back in his glass-jar body, up to some possibly ominous shenanigans. “Bishop Olek’s Devil” is set prior to the current “B.P.R.D.: 1946” series, as Dr. Bruttenholm and Dr. Eaton seek out a dangerous spellbook. Oh, and keep your eyes peeled for Matt Groening’s Futurama/Hellboy mashups. They’re awesome.

Verdict: Thumbs up. All the creepy weirdness you love in Hellboy stories, compressed into bite-sized nuggets.

 

Atomic Robo: Free Comic Book Day

I’ve been trying to get my claws on some of the “Atomic Robo” comics for a while, and I always seem to just barely miss ’em before they get sold out. Sucks to be me. But I got this one, which is a nice little introduction to the character. Atomic Robo is the last and greatest creation of Nikolai Tesla — a fully intelligent, action-loving robot who runs his own think tank and goes on action-crammed adventures against devious scientists and the unexplained. In this story, he chases down a mad Russian scientist who plans to destroy the world with a mega-powerful atomic bomb. A short backup feature is from a new comic called “Neozoic” about an alternate earth where dinosaurs have survived to the present day and are currently making things really rough for humanity.

Verdict: Thumbs up. “Atomic Robo” is lots of fun. Who doesn’t love fast-talking robots who fight Soviet mad science? “Neozoic” isn’t nearly as good, but it shows some promise.

 

Maintenance: Free Comic Book Day

This one follows Doug and Manny, a couple of maintenance guys working in a lab with a bunch of more deranged than normal mad scientists. Worse comes to worse, and both of them end up transported back in time where they meet a bunch of cavemen. Cavemen with rocket packs, rayguns, and Segways.

Verdict: Thumbs up again. Very enjoyably goofy.

There are comics shops out there who have some free books leftover from Free Comic Book Day, so look around and see if you can pick any up.

 

Hellboy: Darkness Calls #6

In the conclusion to the epic, Hellboy is still locked in combat with the immortal Koshchei the Deathless, lost in the world of Russian myth. Baba Yaga has Koshchei’s soul, and she’s powering him up by feeding him all the souls she’s stolen over the centuries. Will Hellboy be able to get away? And what are the faerie hordes planning on earth?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’m not going to spoil this, but Mike Mignola and Duncan Fegredo have done a great job here. If you don’t have the previous issues, it’s likely that you’ll have a tough time finding them, so you might want to consider picking up the trade paperback that will eventually collect this whole story.

 

Lobster Johnson #3

More pulp goodness from Mike Mignola, this time with Jason Armstrong providing the artwork. Jim Sacks, the man in the iron supersuit, awakens to discover that his mentor and employer has been reduced to a talking brain in a tank — that Jim himself may actually be dead! And the evil Fu Manchu-esque villain has stolen the device that will allow him to harness vril, a naturally-occuring pseudo-mystical power source. Lobster Johnson busts in and starts wasting the evil doctor’s minions. And the doctor’s vril-powered servant, while fighting Mr. Sacks, transforms into a dragon-like monster!

Verdict: Thumbs up. I loves me some good weird pulp crime fiction.

 

Supergirl #23

It starts out interestingly enough, with Supergirl receiving a mysterious lead-lined package. When she opens it, she gets a phone call from Batman, who berates her for opening a package that might’ve included something deadly like Kryptonite. Then she gets a call from Superman to help the Green Lanterns track an enemy spaceship — to do so she has to fly about ten feet away from it, through space, and she has to hold her breath for two hours, but she has a teleporter that will take her back home, and she has to — well, way before this, it became almost complete gibberish. Why did they need Supergirl for this when they had Superman? Or some Green Lanterns?

Verdict: Thumbs down. Other than the dialogue between Supergirl and Batman at the beginning of the story, which was really amusing, this issue was an absolute pile of donkey dung.

Hellboy: Darkness Calls #5

I can keep this one short and sweet. Hellboy is still trapped in the world of Russian myth, battling Baba Yaga and Koshchei the Deathless. The witches, ghosts, and monsters of the world are preparing to go to war. It looks like Hellboy has Koshchei on the ropes until Baba Yaga locates Koshchei’s soul (it’s located inside a goat, among other things) and gives him even more power.

Verdict: Thumbs up. There is no mythology freakier than Russian folklore, and Mignola uses it in ways you never thought possible. Very cool, very bizarre, very exciting. At this point, I have no idea what’s going to happen next, and I can’t wait for the next issue.

Not many comics left to review this week, and I think I can get most of them reviewed pretty quickly. To the ReviewCopter!

Hellboy: Darkness Calls #4

Baba Yaga’s crusade against Hellboy continues, as Koschei the Deathless attacks. Hellboy’s a pretty tough customer, but he does his best work against opponents who eventually stop living, which Koschei doesn’t do. Luckily, Hellboy gets a little assistance from a little girl from Russian folklore, but it may not be enough.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Mike Mignola’s take on Russian mythology is big fun. Not much horror action in this issue, but a full issue of near-nonstop action is nothing to sneeze at.

JSA Classified #28

This issue focuses on Jakeem Thunder and his wish-granting Thunderbolt as they try to use their nigh-omnipotent powers to give everyone everything they want. While Jakeem expected to spend his time reconstructing demolished homes and feeding the hungry, he ends up fielding demands for new plasma TVs and repaired PlayStations.

Verdict: Thumbs up. One of the superhero criticisms you see from time to time is that you see them pull people out of fires and accidents, but you never see them stick around to clean up damage or rebuild homes. This issue has one of the better explanations for this that I’ve seen — it’s better thought-out and doesn’t completely insult your intelligence the way some of these do. We also see some much-needed character development for Jakeem, who tends to get forgotten over in the main “Justice Society” comic book.

Teen Titans #49

It’s a crossover with the “Amazons Attack” miniseries. There’s a three-way battle between the Titans, the military, and the Amazons with a bunch of innocent internees in the crossfire. Most of this takes place on a runaway passenger train, and it’s still not a bit exciting.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Boring, irritating, confusing, poorly written, badly plotted. I have a hard time believing that the Titans would help escort military internees to a concentration camp just to keep themselves from being arrested. And Supergirl and Wonder Girl somehow manage to go off, get persuaded to fight with the Amazons, crash Air Force One, and then change their minds and come back to the Titans, all in the space of a few hours. This comic was freakin’ awful. I’m not dropping it yet, mainly ’cause Blue Beetle is going to be in the next few issues, but things better improve soon or I’m giving it up.

I’m way, way behind on my comic reviews, so I’m going to try to take care of the rest of mine as quickly as possible.

She-Hulk #19

The evil gamma-spawned super-genius called the Leader is finally brought to trial for his many crimes, and Jennifer Walters, who used to be the She-Hulk before she very recently lost her powers, has to watch as her own law firm elects to defend the big-brained scoundrel. Even worse, Jennifer is called to the stand to testify that getting gamma powers changes your personality. Also, there’s new mystery about Pug and his new hairstyle, and we finally learn what Mr. Zix did to the hapless Stu Cicero when he learned the robot lawyer’s true identity.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Jenn is, frankly, hilarious when she’s getting harmlessly humiliated. (And She-Hulk really did sleep around a lot. ‘Bout time someone asked whassup with that.) The Leader is fairly funny, too, and Mallory Book is turning into a great non-powered archnemesis for Jennifer.

Hellboy: Darkness Calls #3

Not as good as some Hellboy comics, but still a great example of how to do horror in a comic book. Lots of great stuff with the Baba Yaga, Koschei the Deathless, and other figures from Russian mythology. Koschei is especially cool. Oh, and we get some good moments with Hellboy sitting around smoking with a low-level house spirit.

Verdict: Thumb up. Whether as artist or writer, Mike Mignola is the best horror creator in comics.

Tales from the Crypt #1

Not the original horror comic from the ’50s, but a revival from a publisher called Papercutz. And yes, that is an awesome cover by Kyle Baker. How I wish the inside of this new series was as good. The artwork is crude and too bright for a horror comic. The writing is sub-standard. They get the form of the classic EC Comics right, but they work so hard on modernizing them that they completely forget to add any of that wonderful creepy horror you got from the old “Tales from the Crypt” comics.

Verdict: Thumbs down. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t thrilled. I was bored.

Shadowpact #14

Zauriel, angel and former Justice Leaguer, attacks Blue Devil, reluctant demon and member of the Shadowpact, because his superheroic exploits have convinced too many people to sell their souls for demonic powers because they think he’s cool — and Blue Devil agrees with him! But he’d rather avoid getting killed by Zauriel, so he quits Shadowpact and starts a public relations campaign to reveal his sins, crimes, and shortcomings to get people to stop emulating him. With Blue Devil gone, the rest of the Shadowpact draft Zauriel as a member, and the evil Dr. Gotham starts some rotten plots into motion.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Though I can’t see a lot of people really looking up to Blue Devil (Shadowpact isn’t anywhere near the big dogs of the DCU like the Justice League or the Justice Society), I like the idea of B.D. trying to atone more for his past actions. And I love the bit with the lawyer offering to defend Blue before an infernal court of law.

Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E.

This is the first volume of a trade paperback collecting the early issues of the 1999 series “Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E.” about Courtney Whitmore, the new Star-Spangled Kid (now Stargirl in the Justice Society), and her stepfather, Pat Dugan, who used to be a sidekick called Stripesy and now pilots an oversized robot called S.T.R.I.P.E. The characters have an adversarial relationship — Courtney hates her stepdad and spends as much time antagonizing him as she does fighting crime.

Verdict: Thumbs up. This was writer Geoff Johns’ first comics work, so there are a few growing pains, but the whole thing makes for a very fun comic. Courtney is a wonderful character, a fun, funny, upbeat teenage rebel. Johns based the character on his younger sister, Courtney, who died in the explosion of TWA 800, and I think that helped give the character a vitality and realism that lots of other comic book characters lack.