B.P.R.D.: 1947 #4

Jacob Stegner thinks he’s the only member of the team from the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense who’s left alive, after everyone else was killed by vampires, but he learns, from a mysterious old cat-controlling lady that’s not so — Simon Anders is still alive, but he’s in the clutches of Annaliese and Katharina Brezina, vampire sisters who officially died in 1701 after long years of debuchery and murder. Does Anders have any chance of survival against these monsters?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good action and suspense, excellent dialogue, and fun artwork. And we get appearances by creepy Russian demon girl Varvara and much-less-creepy pancake-loving demon boy Hellboy. A nice little dose of pre-Halloween postwar scariness.

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #7

Hellboy has been given the choice of two crowns to wear — he can become the actual-fer-realz True King of England, the last ancestor of King Arthur, or he can become the King of Demons, the Beast of the Apocalypse. His friend Alice has faith that he’s going to become the King of England and the savior of the world, but Hellboy has his doubts. In a dream, he battles his own demonic self and learns that taking either crown will eventually lead to him wearing both — and if he refuses, Nimue, the new Queen of the Witches, will be able to destroy the world on her own. Can Hellboy battle against fate and his own nature? Oh, and we also get a backup story about Sir Henry Hood, Witchfinder of the 1600s, and one of his battles against the Devil.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of apocalyptic awesomeness. Lots of eerie, creepy stuff. Mike Mignola is playing his cards close to the vest, so I really can’t tell what he’s planning for the future? Is Hellboy going to become the Beast of the Apocalypse? Is the Hellboy-verse coming to an end?

Crossed #7

You remember the Crossed, right? They’re normal humans who’ve contracted some sort of disease that turns them into gleefully sadistic, psychotic killers, and the only way to tell them apart from normal people is the bloody red cross-shaped rash that develops over their faces. Our small pack of survivors are on the run from the band of Crossed freaks from a couple issues back, who’ve managed to track them across a thousand miles of desert. They try to put as much distance between the Crossed as they can, but they get ambushed while forging a river — one of their number gets a minor gunshot wound, they all get a scare — and Patrick, Cindy’s young son, gets washed down the river. Luckily, they’re able to wipe out some of the Crossed pack and find Patrick — but this issue still has a downer ending.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Brutal. As I’ve said before, don’t read this if you’ve got kids who can get their hands on it, don’t read it if you’ve got anything against monstrously grim horror, and don’t read it if you hate stories that don’t have happy endings. But for everyone else, read it, read it, read it. This may be the best pure horror you’ll find in a comic book.

The Unwritten #5

Tom Taylor doesn’t appear in this issue — instead, we visit a previous century and take a look at the life of British author Rudyard Kipling. We follow him as a young reporter in India, frustrated that he can’t tell the stories he wants to. He ends up making a deal, almost entirely by accident, with Mr. Locke, who tells him that he’ll arrange that Kipling will be able to spin his stories for the glories of British Imperialism. And Kipling’s books, like “Gunga Din,” “On the Road to Mandalay,” and “The Light that Failed,” enjoy uncommon success. He is disturbed when, after Locke expresses his disdain for Oscar Wilde’s work, Wilde is unexpectedly arrested and put on trial for sodomy.

On a tour of America, he meets Mark Twain, who warns him that Locke may be a dangerous man, and Locke later tells Kipling that he wants him to remain in America to chronicle America’s rise, instead of England’s decline. Kipling, ever the loyalist, refuses, and soon pays the price, as his daughter Josephine falls ill and is then murdered by Pullman, the seemingly immortal assassin. Unable to write for a year, Kipling eventually turns his attention to fables and his “Just-So Stories” — his own simple declaration of war against Locke and his cronies. But the world continues as Locke had predicted — World War I swallows England whole, and Kipling’s own son joins up to fight and is soon reported MIA. Desperate, he begs for his son’s life from Locke. Will the old fable-teller be able to pull off one last bit of literary magic?

Verdict: Thumbs up. A nice change-of-pace, and a nice look at the strange history of the world that this comic resides in. Kipling lived an interesting but tragic life, but I never saw him as a fantasy hero before. It’s a sad story, but a fun one at the same time.

Power Girl #5

A spaceship has crashed in Prospect Park, and Kara heads up for the apartment roof to change into her costume — hey! Is someone taking pictures of her? There’s gonna be trouble later. Meanwhile, the spaceship almost shoots Power Girl while aiming at a pursuing ship, and while she tears her way inside, the three beautiful alien women inside come out to meet the New Yorkers gawking at the ship. PeeGee meets up with a hunky male android just before the ship self-destructs. Something — possibly Power Girl herself — somehow contains the explosion, but she’s left severely injured in the aftermath. Luckily, she recovers fast once she gets a little sunlight. After bonding with emergency personnel, she returns to her company, where she learns the shocking truth about why her horrible, horrible cat changed color, interviews a new PR employee, and gets in the middle of a minor war between the three alien women and a space cop sent to apprehend them.

Verdict: Thumbs up. There’s a lot of stuff shoehorned in here, some of it a bit weird (Why did Power Girl forget her gloves and boots in the first battle? Was there a plot point behind it?). But there were a lot of cool moments, sometimes very small, sometimes a bit larger. The scene between Power Girl and Pete the fireman is really cute, the alien girls discovering hot dogs is funny, and getting PeeGee’s horrible, horrible cat washed is a small comedy miracle. As always, Amanda Conner’s art makes everything even better.

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #6

Hellboy and Alice are in the castle of Morgan Le Fay. She tells them about Mordred, the son she bore for King Arthur. Though he died in the Battle of Camlan, and his three sons were killed, he had a daughter who escaped death, and who continued his bloodline through a long line of female children, culminating in a woman named Sarah Hughes, a witch who married a demon, died, and went to Hell to deliver the first male heir in the Pendragon bloodline in hundreds of years — a big, red-skinned guy with a stone hand who likes to file his horns down. In other words, Hellboy is not only the reluctant Beast of the Apocalypse, he’s also the rightful King of Britain. So Morgan gives him a choice — he can take the Sword from the Stone and lead an army of dead elves and fairies into battle, or he can let Nimue, former consort and betrayer of Merlin, destroy the world as the new blood-soaked Queen of the Witches. But Hellboy fears he is slowly becoming the demonic Great Beast — will he end up wearing both crowns at once? Is this just a struggle to decide whether Nimue or Anung un Rama will call an end to creation?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very big stuff going on here — epic and apocalyptic in every sense of the word. Is Mike Mignola really getting ready to end his own comic-book universe?

I got two different Mike Mignola comics, and I’m gonna review ’em right now! Try and stop me!

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #5

While Hellboy tries to get his friend Alice into a demon-guarded castle where her injuries can be healed, the newly crowned Queen of the Witches makes her plots against Big Red and demonstrates her power on a fae ambassador, compelling him to leave to commit regicide. Our second feature is a story by Gary Gianni about a group called the MonsterMen who travel into the Underworld to help un-haunt a house and getting stuck with a powerful (though silly) demonic relic.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The Hellboy story has plenty of action, thanks to Hellboy fighting an all-powerful demon, and plenty of creepy, thanks to the Queen of the Witches, who could scare you into a year of nightmares. The second feature is plenty silly (its evil relic is called the Mustache Diabolico), but I wish it had a little more background on the characters.

B.P.R.D: 1947 #2

In this story of the early days of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, Simon Anders is in big trouble. He’s one member of a small squad sent to investigate vampire attacks in post-war Europe, and he’s been lured by a pretty girl to the ruins of Chateau Lac D’Annecy — but the ruins aren’t ruins anymore, and there’s a big party going on with a lot of women dressed up in fashions from the 1750s and a lot of suspiciously withered servants. At the stroke of midnight, the ladies take Simon flying off to “the Festival” — a ritual to Hecate attended by withches and vampires — including Baron Konig, the vampire believed to be behind the attacks in Europe. The next morning, the rest of the BPRD squad make their own trip to the castle — but all they find is ruins, Simon’s notebook, and ominous coffins.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very spooky stuff, which has certainly become a hallmark fo Mignola’s various BPRD series. The artwork by Gabriel Ba and Fabio Moon is quite stunning as well.

Another week gone by, another weekend ready to start. You roused up enough for it? No, I don’t think you are roused up enough for this weekend. You need one little boost to get you ready. You need one little bottlerocket shoved under your tailbone. You need a big, thick steamin’ bowl of FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

And if tonight’s battle don’t get you roused up for action and mayhem, then it ain’t even possible to rouse you anymore. From September 2008’s Hellboy: The Crooked Man #3 by Mike Mignola and Richard Corben: Hellboy hits a diabolical spirit called the Crooked Man with… a consecrated shovel!

Our musical accompaniment for tonight? I had some trouble with it — couldn’t find any lyrics at all having to do with consecrated shovels, and that was really the big sticking point. You’d think that, at some point, some ambitious death metal band, or maybe Elvis, woulda written a song about hitting monsters with a consecrated shovel, but I guess not.

Finally, I was just looking at the panels, and it just came to me. Any time you need to convey, through music, what it’s like when a reformed, angst-ridden demon hits a misshapen, top-hatted monstrosity with a holy consecrated shovel so hard that everything EXPLODES… you must, absolutely must, dial up Marvin Lee Aday to provide the soundtrack.

Turn it up loud, and have a great weekend.

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #4

Hellboy and his Irish friend, Alice, follow a faerie while HB tries to figure out what’s gone wrong with him lately. He remembers getting killed pretty decisively a while back and somehow coming back to life. He remembers killing the giants he was pursuing by embracing his demonic nature. But he doesn’t have long to reflect on things — the little goblin has lead them into a trap. Alice is shot with poisonous elfshot. Is there any way to save her?

Meanwhile, the followup story is another tale from Russian folklore, this time about a man captured by Baba Yaga. Can he outwit the evil witch before she eats him for breakfast?

Verdict: Thumbs up. The Hellboy story is advancing nicely, with some introspection for Hellboy that we don’t see very often. And I’m really digging these stories from Russian folklore — they’re both funny and scary in the way that only the best fairy tales are. Any time Mike Mignola wants to write a book about folk tales and folklore, I think I’d buy it.

Madame Xanadu #8

Nimue, in her Victorian-era guise as the fortuneteller Madame Xanadu, remains on the trail of Jack the Ripper, but despite her magical alarms, she is no closer to capturing the murderer than the police are. The only person who seems to have a clue is the Phantom Stranger — and his only interest in the matter is to make sure the killings continue! He claims that the murders must go on to save the future, but Nimue only sees an emotionless monster helping to clear the way for a mass murderer.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Matt Wagner’s writing is a joy to read, and Amy Reeder Hadley‘s artwork is some of the most beautiful stuff you’re going to find in a mainstream comic book. Go pick it up.

Comic Book Comics #3

The epic history of comics, as told by Fred Van Lente and Ryan Dunlavey, continues, as we hit the darkest period the comics industry has gone through. We get an abbreviated biography of Dr. Fredric Wertham and his crusade against comics in the 1950s. We get an overview of Wertham’s book “Seduction of the Innocent,” a quick look at the anti-comics Senate hearings, the inside dope on the disastrous testimony of EC Comics’ William Gaines before the Senate committee, and the creation of the Comics Code Authority, as well as one of the few triumphs of that era — the creation of MAD Magazine. Other topics in this issue include: the Pop Art phenomenon, which owed a lot to Roy Lichtenstein’s ability to copy from comic books; the campy 1960s “Batman” TV show; Robert Crumb’s early days; the first fanzines; the birth of the Silver Age; and Jack Kirby’s not-exactly-joyful reunion with Stan Lee.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Excellent cartooning and clever wit do a lot to lighten up the most completely rotten chunk of comics’ history. I’m also digging the reminders of how early it was that pop culture was being impacted by comic books.

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #3

Hellboy pays a visit to a woman who was once kidnapped by the Fae and replaced by a changeling. They have a meeting with Mab, former queen of the Fae, who warns them that war is coming and terrible times are on the way for Hellboy. And the world’s witches get dire punishments from a mysterious and powerful woman who plans to lead an army against the world. We also get more of the origin story of Koshchei the Deathless, mythological figure of Russian folklore. After he was killed by his treacherous wife, he was resurrected by his dragon patron. Koshchei then hides his soul (inside an egg, then inside a duck, a rabbit, a goat, and on an island beyond the edge of the world) and sets out to get revenge on his betrayers.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nicely creepy stuff, with some good long-range suspense starting to build. What’s up with Hellboy? Is he going to become the Beast of the Apocalypse after all?

Seems like ages since I got to review some horror comics, so let’s hit a couple of Dark Horse Comics’ best.

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #2

We actually get three stories here. First, after getting betrayed by the Wild Hunt, Hellboy ends up losing consciousness and missing the entire fight — when he comes to, all the Wild Hunters are already dead, killed by the quartet of giants they’d claimed they were going to kill. How did Hellboy escape? A helpful talking sparrow reveals that he’s been temporarily blessed with invisibility. Unfortunately, just because he’s invisible doesn’t mean the giants can’t hear him.

In the second story, we get the history of Gruagach of Lough Leane, a former elf and current broken-down pig monster. While he used to be a powerful shapeshifter, he lost his powers because of love (Ain’t that always the way?), got bested by Hellboy, and trapped in the piggish body he currently resides in. Can he escape his curse and resurrect his former queen?

Finally, we get the story of “How Koshchei Became Deathless” — the story, obviously, of Koshchei the Deathless, a figure from Russian mythology. In this version, Koshchei was originally a common soldier, dying on a battlefield, granted healing by a dragon in exchange for nine years of service. After leaving the dragon’s employ, he is granted a magical shirt that will prevent all injury, which gives him uncommon success on the battlefield. He marries a princess, but she conspires with another suitor to steal away his magic shirt and kill him.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The stories about Koshchei and Gruagach are actually the standouts here — full of the weird lovelorn tragedies and unexplainable magicks that fill all the best mythologies.

B.P.R.D.: The Black Goddess #1

The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense is still trying to track down Martin Gilfryd, the near-immortal wizard who has kidnapped pyrokinetic Liz Sherman. While a small team led by Abe Sapien and Johann Kraus dig through the files of an abandoned base, Kate Corrigan interviews Harold McTell, an old man who is the last surviving member of Lobster Johnson’s team during the 1940s. Lobster’s investigation of Gilfryd was marked by the mysterious deaths of almost all of his agents. But does McTell still have information that he can offer the BPRD?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Solid characterization and dialogue, with some great pulp elements and random spooky bits tossed in here and there.

Justice Society of America #21

Gog wants to be worshiped, and though Magog, the former David Reid, is willing, the rest of the renegade Justice Society is understandably reluctant. The rest of the JSA arrives, and Sand reveals that Gog is in the process of rooting himself to the planet — if he stays on Earth even one day more, he stands a good chance of completely destroying the world. Gog reacts badly, and the rest of the JSA turns against him. There’s a lot of references to “Kingdom Come” from here on out — Alan Scott takes on the Green Lantern armor he did in the graphic novel, and Jay Garrick gets accelerated toward the Speed Force, causing his body to take on an appearance similar to the blurry “Kingdom Come” Flash. Gog also takes back the gifts he’d given to the team — Dr. Mid-Nite becomes blind again, Starman goes mad, Sand gets his nightmares back, Damage’s face gets destroyed again, and Citizen Steel, after rejecting Gog’s offer to let him feel sensations again, is instead cursed with terrible pain. Is there any way for the Justice Society to defeat a god?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good characterization really helps carry this one home. Nate Heywood rejecting Gog is a great moment, as is David Reid realizing just how bad Gog really is. The final chapter of this one comes up next — it should’ve been several issues shorter, but I’m glad the story is finally picking up now.

Final Crisis #5

And speaking of trying to beat gods, Darkseid and the evil gods of the Fourth World are on the verge of taking over everything. Granny Goodness, in the body of the Alpha Lantern Kraken, tries to steal the Central Power Battery on Oa, Wonder Woman is leading Batwoman, Catwoman, and Giganta as the new Female Furies, Mister Miracle and is still alive, Frankenstein is quoting John Milton, Mary Marvel takes down Captain Marvel and Black Adam, Mr. Talky Tawny shows up with a jetpack, the banished Monitor gets superpowered, a Rubik’s Cube gets solved unusually quickly, Lex Luthor is forced to serve Libra’s will, and the people of Earth become Darkseid’s slaves.

Verdict: I think I’ll give this a thumbs up. Lots of mad, bad, dangerous ideas getting flung around here.

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #1

Hellboy is summoned from a house in Italy where he was rooming with a couple of old dead ladies to England, where he is offered the opportunity to participate in the Wild Hunt, a periodic quest by British noblemen to destroy giants before they become too powerful or cause too much trouble. But does the Wild Hunt hold potential for even more fear and treachery than Hellboy can handle?

Verdict: Thumbs up. A great betrayal and a great cliffhanger. This one is going to be a lot of fun.

What’s that ya say? Tomorrow’s Halloween? Well, by gum, let’s dig up some nice monstery comics and see how they look?

Hellboy: In the Chapel of Moloch

Hey, Mike Mignola is back writing and drawing Hellboy again! The technical term for this is: “totally sweet.” Hellboy investigates a case where an artist of middling talent takes up residence in a spooky church and sculpts up a honkin’ huge statue of a demon called Moloch. And the statue actually bleeds when you cut it! Turns out the church was the headquarters, centuries ago, of a Moloch-worshiping cult, and the forces of Hell still have influence here. Will Hellboy go for a simple, quiet exorcism? Or a great deal of smashing and breaking and shooting?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Man, it’s great to see Mignola drawing Hellboy again. He ain’t lost a trick, either — this is spooky, moody, eerie — and yeah, very action-packed stuff. And the writing remains top-notch. Mignola drags up all kinds of creepy historical and semi-historical tidbits to help move the story along. A cult that roasted babies alive? A saint who fought in the Crusades even though he’d been decapitated? Ooky, and fun. More please, Mr. Mignola.

Monster-Size Hulk

Four different stories as Hulk fights… MOOOONSTERRRRS! We get one where Hulk takes on Frankenstein’s Monster, possibly even returning him to standard Marvel continuity. The second story features Werewolf by Night. The third one is a short little two-page comedy starring Marvel’s classic giant monsters. The last one is neat — mostly text by Peter David, with a couple of illustrations, as the Hulk takes on Dracula himself.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I loved the one with Frankenstein, and I thought the story with Dracula was outstanding. This is the Dracula from Marvel’s classic ’70s series “Tomb of Dracula” with a ruthless, megalomaniacal, grandstanding Count Dracula — a character I’ve long enjoyed.

Marvel Adventures: The Hulk #13

Marvel’s all-ages books all seem to be exceptionally good, and this one is a lot of fun. The Hulk tangles with the Living Pharaoh, and he’s managed to enslave most of Marvel’s heroes by turning them into mummies! And they’re pretty creepy mummies, too! Can Hulk, Rick Jones, and their pet monkey (Um, what?) figure out a way to stop the Pharaoh in time?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’m impressed that they managed to make what’s basically a kids’ version of “Marvel Zombies.” Yes, it’s a little scary, but still fun.

The Goon #29

Skinny is back from the dead as Mr. Wicker — he’s basically a wood-covered, burning zombie. Yeah, takes all kinds. And the orphans get a new playmate — Merle the Werewolf’s son, Roscoe the Werepup. Roscoe claims to be able to fart and whistle at the same time — we’ll see if this amazing talent eventually becomes useful.

Verdict: Thumbs up again. This one has zombies, werewolves, wood monsters, and more. Great, if slightly crude, Halloween reading. But you wouldn’t want the Goon to be anything but.

My Name Is Bruce

It’s the Adventures of Bruce Campbell. No, not Ash from the “Evil Dead” movies. Just Bruce Campbell, B-movie actor. Sure, he actually tends to act exactly like Ash, but the star is actually Bruce Campbell. What’s the plot? An ancient Chinese demon is accidentally freed from imprisonment, and Bruce gets tricked into coming to help get rid of it.

Verdict: Thumbs up for a comic starring one of the ten most awesome people in the history of the universe. Thumbs down for it not really being a very good comic.

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #3

It’s the final showdown between the diabolical Crooked Man and the mostly outclassed forces of good, including Hellboy, Tom Ferrell, and the old blind priest. The Crooked Man tries to tempt Tom and the priest, and his henchwitches raise an army of zombies to combat Hellboy. Is there no hope for our heroes? Or is this all going to come down to Hellboy whacking someone upside the head with a consecrated shovel?

Verdict: Two or three thumbs up. Yes, it’s still an absolutely awesome story, with outstanding art, terrifying foes, and suspense galore, but anything that includes an actual consecrated shovel gets graded up an extra notch.