We’ll keep it short and simple tonight, not ’cause we’re short of time, but just because I need the weekend too badly to bother coming up with anything clever for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from October 2010’s Spitfire #1 by Paul Cornell and Elena Casagrande. The British aristocratic vampiresque speedster has been sent to eliminate a vampire who aided the Nazis during World War II. Things definitely don’t end well for the rival vampire.

We’ll see you guys back here on Monday — ’til then, have a great weekend!

The workweek is always too long, and the weekends are always too short. It’ll always be that way, no way around it. But it helps if you start your weekend off the right way — with comic books and violence! It’s time again for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Not all battles are physical — sometimes the whupass is all about breaking the brain and not the body. So tonight’s battles comes to us from October 2006’s Secret Six #4 by Gail Simone, Brad Walker, and Jimmy Palmiotti. The Doom Patrol is mopping up on our favorite criminal rebels — until they bring out their secret weapon — Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter?!

(Click to embiggen)

One page, three words, and he completely turns the battle around. “Secret Six” was a seriously grand series, and it was great to see the Mad Hatter depicted as both a complete nutbag and a serious threat.

And somewhat off-topic, but congratulations going out to our handsome host SpaceBooger, who’s just welcomed a new kid into the world.

Well, lookie here, it’s Friday night, we’re all ready for the weekend, and all we need to get it started off right is a little mindless — or at least mostly mindless — comic book violence. Must be time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from a backup feature in June 1982’s New Teen Titans #20 by Marv Wolfman, George Perez, and Romeo Tanghal. The evil Dr. Igor Igorigorigorivich has decided he wants to learn the secrets of the Teen Titans, so he breaches the dimensions to kidnap Marv Wolfman and George Perez!

I don’t know about you, but I’d really like to learn more about Len Wein and his teddy bears.

Another week ended, another weekend begun, and it’s time for another dose of… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from March 2004’s Gotham Central #15 by Ed Brubaker, Greg Rucka, and Michael Lark. The Joker got arrested but managed to get his hands on a gun and started shooting up the cops in the precinct. Is Batman gonna show up to stop his rampage? Actually… no.

Ladies and gentlemen — put your hands together for Maggie Sawyer!

Can you believe Gotham Central is over a decade old? Brilliant series — if you haven’t gotten to read it, go find the trade paperbacks.

Thanks to everyone who voted for me last week — the great news is that I won! Yay! And the great news after that is that it’s time for even more… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes from June 2009’s Green Arrow/Black Canary #19 by Andrew Kreisberg, Mike Norton, and Joe Rubinstein. Green Arrow has been captured by some nutbag called Cupid and shackled to a subway track. I must assume that Ollie got captured because he was distracted by Cupid’s costume, which is dumber’n snot, but does show off her cleavage — and that’s the best way to distract Ollie. Anyway, after that, Cupid just adds injury to insult.

I think what bugs me the most about this is that Cupid was a male god. Giving that name to a female character is a little silly, isn’t it?

Well, it’s time for another prize fight round of Friday Night Fights — whichever battle gets the most votes wins a prize. And as he always does for prize fights, Spacebooger insists on a theme. This time, the theme is that the loser of each battle gives up before being beaten too badly.

So the fight I picked (and I wouldn’t be too surprised if all the other competitors picked the same fight, because it’s quite good) is from November 2007’s Immortal Iron Fist #9 by Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, David Aja, and Scott Koblish, in which Daniel Rand takes on the boisterous Fat Cobra in combat.

Now hopefully, y’all are all gonna go vote for me, so maybe I’ll get a chance at some of Fat Cobra’s Victory Wenches…

People, it’s Friday night, and that doesn’t mean it’s the perfect time to sit around shelling peas. It doesn’t mean you should rewind all your clocks. It definitely doesn’t mean you should spend more time at the office. Friday night means it’s time for the weekend, and it’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from October 1974’s Shazam #14 by Denny O’Neil and Kurt Schaffenberger. The Monster Society of Evil is back, and they have their worst weapons ready for the Marvel Family! Can the Big Red Cheeses prevail?

That’s the craziest thing I’ve seen since at least last weekend. Head over to Spacebooger’s joint and vote for your favorite fight.

Greetings, kids! I have good news and more good news! The good news is that it’s Friday, and it’s time for the weekend, and holy zagnuts, do we all need the weekend! And the other good news? It’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from 2004’s DC: The New Frontier by Darwyn Cooke! Ted “Wildcat” Grant is fighting the last match of his boxing career, and he’s up against a kid named Cassius Clay.

That’ll finish me off for the week — everyone get out there and enjoy the weekend while we still can! Monday’s coming in only a couple days…

I waited ’til pretty much the last minute to get this done, so let’s skip the usual overbearing intros and get right into… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from November 1989’s The Sensational She-Hulk #7 by John Byrne, Bob Wiacek, and Glynis Oliver. Shulkie and a bunch of new friends (spacefaring truckers, if you must know) have been captured by the diabolical Xemnu the Titan. Can the Glorious Green Giantess get the drop on the overgrown sack of hair?

That’ll do it for this week. Enjoy your weekend, guys and girls, and I’ll see you back here on Monday.

Oh, hey, it’s Friday and that means we’re gonna get right into FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle definitely goes big time — from February 2011’s Avengers Academy #7 by Christos Gage, Mike McKone, Dave Meikis, and Scott Hanna, here’s Giant-Man vs. the Absorbing Man!

Man, look at Hank Pym — cleaning Crusher Creel’s clock and bonking him in the face with his own wrecking ball? Those Pym particles are somethin’ else!