Bahlactus has been running Friday Night Fights almost every week since March 2007, and he’s decreed that tonight’s gonna be the last one.

That’s some 19 months of face-rockin’, chin-checkin’, pain-bringin’, and head-bustin’. Over 70 weeks of kicks to the face, fists to the face, baseball bats to the face, and car batteries to the face. Bahlactus freestyles all the participants every week, and a while back, he was actually giving away comics to the folks who signed up. I enjoy the heck out of Friday Night Fights, and I hate to see it end, but Bahlactus is the man, and if he wants to call the series quits, I ain’t tough enough to stop him.

So we got multiple themes running tonight — we need some righteous violence first, our theme is still “Ladies Night,” so a woman’s gotta be involved in the righteous violence, and it’s Halloween, so we need to add some monsters into the equation. Let’s spin the Wheel of Hurtin’ and see what comes up.

From 1998’s Vampirella #3 — a comic with some serious pedigree, as it was written by none other than Grant Morrison and Mark Millar, with art provided by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti. Let’s set our scene — Vampirella is looking to dust a bunch of vampires. Our favorite scantily-clad pseudo-vampiric vampire hunter has a bomb to take care of most of them, but for the leader, sometimes the old ways are best:

In other words, Vampi’s gonna drive a wooden stake through a vampire’s face.

Nice. A very happy, gory, vampire-free Halloween to us all.

But dangit, I can’t let the last Friday Night Fights go with just one fight. Lemme dredge up the fight I was originally going to use, if the last round hadn’t hit on Halloween. This is from 2004’s JLA #90 by Joe Kelly, ChrisCross, and Tom Nguyen, in which Wonder Woman, in an artificially-induced dream sequence, uses the back of the Joker’s head to refurbish a wall.

Wwwwwow. That’s why ChrisCross is one of my favorite artists.

And finally: Bahlactus, thank you. I, and probably everyone else who’s participated in and enjoyed Friday Night Fights, owe you a whole bunch of six-packs in gratitude for all this fun and mayhem. Thanks, thanks, a million, billion thanks.

Always bet on Bahlactus.

Bahlactus demands fighting on Friday nights! Dare we refuse him? NEVAR. So let’s get going with another bone-cracking round of FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight, our violentastic artwork comes from 2007’s Sugarshock by Joss Whedon and Fabio Moon. You can find the whole thing at the Dark Horse Presents website. We start out with Wade meeting her handsome prince/groupie…

Aw, isn’t it sweet? Whatcha think of this, L’Lihdra?

Yeah, that seems like the most sensible reaction. Nobody quits the band!

And next week… GASP! Can it be? The final Friday Night Fights?!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, another workweek is over, and that’s as good an excuse as any for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

From this year’s Justice Society of America Annual #1 by Geoff Johns, Jerry Ordway, and Bob Wiacek: It’s Power Girl vs. Power Girl!

Mercy gracious!

Wow, that’s one way of kicking off a weekend, ain’t it?

(Edited to deal with me forgetting to edit this one properly before)

Dagnabit, Bahlactus has gone and called for a one-week break in Friday Night Fights. So that means no fisticuffs and face-wounding for you today. Instead, we have to go with some non-fight-related activities. Don’t complain — all those who complain, burn at the touch of… never mind, that sentence just can’t end well. Instead, we’ll just dive into our nonviolent activities for the evening.

Ugh. That’s… That’s a comic cover with photos of plastic dolls. And they’ve gone shopping. That’s gotta be the worst, most horrible thing I’ve ever posted here.

Regular Friday Night Fights will resume next Friday. Let’s hope we can all survive the Scourge of Evil Plastic Barbie ’til then…

Don’t have much time to get this one together, thanks to some serious goings-on in my rassafrackin’ off-blog life. So you know the drill — Friday night’s alright for fightin’, and Bahlactus demands FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight: from 1983’s Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew #19 by Scott Shaw!, Joey Cavalieri, Rick Hoberg, and Larry Houston: Felina Furr, alter ego of Alley-Kat-Abra, demonstrates her mastery of the ancient art of kat-fu by unleashing on a bunch of arcade thieves at a mall.

Mee-yow! Looks like a cat-astrophe for the robbers, but just purr-fect for the kitty…

Let’s see… Friday? Check. Night? Yah, close enough. Fights? Comin’ right up. Looks like it’s the perfect time for FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight, we go back to Birds of Prey #118 by Tony Bedard, Nicola Scott, and Doug Hazlewood, from earlier this year. It’s Misfit vs. Black Alice!

Short and simple? Sure thing. Best way to start the weekend.

Bahlactus speaks, and he demands nothing less than FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! And even better, he wants a bunch of girl fights! Girl fights! It’s like Christmas! No, it’s better than Christmas! It’s ATOMIC CHRISTMAS!

Tonight, we get our double-X-chromosomed violence from 1998’s C.H.I.X. #1 with Adam Warren and Tom Simmons. Here, Sistah Ninja’s mad leet ninja skillz prove no match for Good Girl’s middle finger…

“PLIK” is an excellent sound effect.

Okay, folks, it’s Friday night, and I’m in the mood for a big thick steamin’ bowl of Wolf Brand Whupass!

In other words, it’s way past time for FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

For tonight, I dug out my recent copy of Ambush Bug: Year None #1 by Keith Giffen, Robert Loren Fleming, and Al Milgrom, in which the Golden Age Batgirl gives poor Ambush Bug a moderately undeserved kick to the face:

Good gravy train, she kicked him so hard his head exploded!

Blondes in short skirts and masks kicking you so hard your head explodes is what Friday Night Fights is all about…

Well, here we are, the first Friday in September, the weather’s cooling off, football season’s in full swing, school’s back in session, the political campaigns are making large numbers of people hoot madly and bash their heads against brick walls. What the heck, seems like as good an excuse as any to dive headlong into FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight, let’s pay a quick visit to 2003’s JLA: Welcome to the Working Week by Patton Oswalt, Patrick Gleason, and Christian Alamy, in which Wonder Woman gets in a little sparring using Cheetah’s spinal column:

Looks like Wondy just bought Cheetah a round-trip ticket on the Pain Train…

If it’s Friday and after five o’clock, you know what that means, right? No, it’s not time for sitting in front of the TV and watching pointless stuff! No, it’s not time to go out on the town and pretend you’re good-lookin’ enough to git some leg! No, it’s not time for your weekly bath! (Well, actually, yes, it is time for that. Please go bathe. Use the wire brush, please.)

No, it’s time for our much-beloved FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!  Why? Because Bahlactus says so, and Bahlactus knows best. Think happy thoughts, or he’ll wish you into the cornfield!

Tonight, we’re only going back a few months to this year’s American Dream #4 by Tom DeFalco, Todd Nauck, and Scott Koblish. Here’s the aforementioned American Dream chin-checking the dastardly Red Queen:

That’s some violence that’s worth standing up and saluting for!