It’s been another week. Another long, cold, fairly miserable week. Another week of alarm clocks, rushed lunches, tense meetings with the boss, wasted evenings in front of the TV. And that’s just for the folks who’ve got jobs. If you don’t have one, it’s even worse. You crave all that stuff that the employed people take for granted. Heck, it’s been a stressful week for all of us, and we all need to blow off some steam before the weekend with… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight, we’re taking our fight from 1999’s Planetary #6, as Jakita Wagner, the Planetary Organization’s resident superspeed tank, runs into William Leather in the secret hideout of the diabolical Four.

Have I mentioned before that you guys need to go get all the Planetary trade paperbacks, if you ain’t got ’em already? Well, I meant it! Go get ’em!

Another typically horrendous week is over, and if you’re anything like me, you need to kick your weekend off with a little bludgeoning violence. That means it’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This evening’s fight comes from 1994’s Hellboy: Seed of Destruction by John Byrne and Mike Mignola, as Hellboy gets acquainted with one of the demonic monsters called the frogs:

Everyone have a wonderful weekend — see y’all back here on Monday…

Ya say it’s been a long week of drudgery, workin’ for the Man and not making enough dough? Well, I got good news, my friend — it’s the weekend! You get a whole two days of not workin’ for the Man ahead of you. (probably won’t be making any extra money either, but them’s the breaks, kid.) And the best way to get your weekend started is with a little of the ol’ ultraviolence. In other words, it’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today, we’re going with September 1998’s Major Bummer #14, cancelled over a decade ago and still not collected into a trade paperback. What the heck, DC?! Anyway, the Lou Martin of the future, now middle-aged, balding, and packing a spare tire, takes on a multi-armed time-travelling alien… and things don’t go well.

Hope y’all have a better weekend than that…

It’s the end of another long and very cold week, and I reckon the best way to fight off the cold and get charged up for the weekend at the same time is to heat things up with some FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This week’s brawl comes to us from January 2000’s JLA #37 by Grant Morrison, Howard Porter, and John Dell. It’s the middle of the epic “World War III” storyarc, and General Wade Eiling, wearing the shaved-bald body of the Shaggy Man, is having a minor disagreement with the Man of Steel:

And that is how Superman got athlete’s foot fungus all over his face.

Hope y’all have a great weekend, and I’ll see y’all on Monday.

At last! Fight fans have been waiting a long time, and SpaceBooger has decreed — it’s again time for FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! And the special theme for the next 12 rounds is going to focus on bad guys beating the snot out of good guys. Hey, just like real life!

Our inaugural brawl is from December 2004’s She-Hulk #8 by Dan Slott, Juan Bobillo, and Marcello Sosa, as Shulkie gets closely acquainted with the Champion’s fists:

Luckily, later that issue, She-Hulk cleaned Champion’s clock. And a few issues later, he lost a lot of his hair and got a small mountain dropped on him. There’s an object lesson in there somewhere.

SpaceBooger is going to start up the next official round of Friday Night Fights next week, but why don’t we jump the gun with a little seasonal mayhem?

From January 2002’s JLA #60 by Mark Waid, Cliff Rathburn, and Paul Neary: Santa Claus puts the hurt on a bunch of demonic elves!

You better not pout, you better not cry, you better watch out, I’m telling you why: Santa Claus is coming… to kick your ass.

We’re once again in the middle of a short break between rounds of regular Friday Night Fights, but just because SpaceBooger has called a temporary halt to the violence-drenched festivities doesn’t mean I’m under any obligation to obey. I always seem to have trouble finding the really violent stuff on these off-weeks, but I think I got the stuff this time. We’re going for something from a Japanese comic book. We all know how fantastically violent manga is, right? So this one’s probably going to be a record-setting explosion of violence, brutality, and body counts.

So let’s get the battle rolling — from 2005’s Yotsuba&!, Volume 2 by Kiyohiko Azuma, here’s the blood-curdling tale of five-year-old Yotsuba watching one too many gangster movies and gunning down her own father!

What the –?! A water gun?! That wasn’t violent at all! I can assure you, I’m just as shocked about this as you are. I’d write a stern letter of complaint… if I weren’t too busy cooing about how cute the whole thing was.

(In semi-related news, there’s a vote-off going on this weekend at SpaceBooger’s place to pick the best fight of the past 12 weeks. Head on over, check out the finalists, and vote for your favorite.)

So Thanksgiving is over, and Black Friday is over.

Over the past few days, you’ve had to deal with insane crowds in the grocery stores prior to Thursday, as everyone scrambled and clawed for every last overpriced turkey and every last can of cranberry jelly and every last freakin’ yam in the galaxy. You had to deal with the stress and fuss of preparing the big dinner. You had to deal with your Aunt Sophie alternately pinching your cheeks like you were four and complaining that you’ve gotten fat. You had your Uncle Ferd spouting Glenn Beck’s ninny-level demogoguery as if there were something awesome about being a crypto-stalinist nutbag (Could someone explain to me why Beck’s new book has him wearing an old East German military uniform? Or why he’s started saying we should be more like the Chinese? For a guy who acts like he’s terrified that Yuri Andropov is gonna crawl out of his underwear drawer, Beck shore does love him some Commies). You watched 136 hours of football, because that’s all there was to do after eating. You had insanely murderous shoppers and insanely murderous drivers all over town today. You can look forward to the first of a seemingly infinite number of hacked-together Christmas specials on the TV.

I know what you need. You know what you need. You need violence. You need rage. You need a bucket load of anger and blood and pain. You need some dude in spandex curbstomping another dude in spandex. You need FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Let’s hit it — one of the best of the best. From 1986’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller: Batman listens to Superman complain that the turkey was dry just once… too… often.

That one’s goin’ out to Maxo Romero over at Great Caesar’s Post. Much respect, Max.

There’s less than a week before Thanksgiving, and this seems to be the perfect time to consider all the things we have to be thankful for. Family and friends, good fortune wherever it may fall, weekends, days off, and most importantly — FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s pain-party is brought to you by 2008’s MySpace Dark Horse Presents anthology, from from Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba’s story “Safe and Sound,” starring the Kraken from the Umbrella Academy.

Y’all have a merry weekend, and I’ll see y’all back here bright and early Monday.

Another Friday evening is upon us, and that means it’s time for FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today, we’re heading for 2007’s Doctor 13: Architecture and Mortality by Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang, as Dr. 13, the vampiric Andrew Bennett, and a talking Nazi gorilla take on a giant Mount Rushmore monster! So how do you defeat a giant Mount Rushmore monster when all you’ve got is a vampire, a gorilla, and an atheist college professor?

Looks like you don’t.

Hope y’all have a better weekend than that…