Alright, people, it’s finally Friday, and that means it’s time we get to the all-important maxxin’-and-relaxxin’ portion of the week. And we’re gonna start that off the way we always do with… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight, we’re getting our righteous pain and whuppin’ from the greatest journalist in comics history — Spider Jerusalem. Here, from August 2000’s Transmetropolitan #35 by Warren Ellis, Darick Robertson, and Rodney Ramos, Spider has a few questions he wants to ask Daniel Cox, a creepy cop-approved murderer.

And he closes it all down with the perfect one-liner:

Yeah, that’s the way you conduct an interview!

Friends and neighbors, it’s been one heck of a week. We’re all worn to a frazzle, and what we’re all looking for right now is a little weekend time to unwind, relax, and reconnect with our own overworked humanity. And the best way to do that is always… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This evening’s battle comes from October 2008’s Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #27, by Paul Tobin, Jacopo Camagni, Troy Hobbs, and Norman Lee, as Captain America and Iron Man meet up with Fancy Dan and Ox of the Enforcers. Fancy Dan? Yeah, that’s what I thought. What do you think of that, Cap?

Ox takes the harder punch here, but I’ll have to declare Fancy Dan the big loser in this battle. ‘Cause when your name is Fancy Dan, you’re always going to be a loser…

Well now, jadies and lentlemen, I note upon the calendar that today is the first day and the first Friday of the month, meaning it’s time for all y’all Lubbockites to get ready for the latest First Friday Art Trail. But you do know that there’s other kinds of art, right? Specifically, there’s the violent and lurid art that we like to call… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes from March 1996’s Marvel vs. DC #2. This really was a deeply flawed series — sloppy plotting, a much-despised vote-for-the-winner scheme that had scrappy bone-clawed mutant Wolverine defeating Superman-level psychotic Lobo, and many, many, many missed opportunities. But it brought about the very awesome Amalgam Comics, and it had a few other points in its favor. For example, in this sequence by Peter David, Ron Marz, Claudio Castellini, and Paul Neary, we get Marvel’s Captain America taking on DC’s Bane.

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen any character get hit harder by Cap’s shield. I almost feel sorry for poor Baney…

Don’t have a lot of time today to put this together, so let’s make it short and sweet — it’s time again for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today’s fight comes from May 2008’s Batman #675 by Grant Morrison, Ryan Benjamin, and Saleem Crawford, as Bruce Wayne beats up on the Ten-Eyed Man:

And that’s that! Everyone have a great weekend — see y’all Monday!

Sweet mercy, what a week! But it’s the weekend now, dagnabbit, and we’re going to get things started the traditional way with… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s brawl-for-it-all comes to us from June 1968’s Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. by the one and only Jim Steranko! Here we find Nick Fury taking on the mysterious menace of Scorpio:

And that’s the story of how Scorpio got slammed into a wall while shirtless Nick Fury stuck his butt in his face. THE END.

I don’t know about you, but I think I need this weekend. It’s been a weird, wild week, and a little lying-around-the-house-and-not-getting-roused-up-by-anything sure sounds good. And the best way to start off a weekend is with a little FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today’s fight comes from December 2009’s The Incredible Hercules by Greg Pak, Fred van Lente, Reilly Brown, and Nelson DeCastro. And lemme tell you, I could’ve posted about a dozen pages of this, ’cause it’s jam-packed with awesome butt-whoopage. But I picked this one, ’cause it makes me laugh like a hyena. Here’s Hercules pretending to be Thor vs. Thor pretending to be Hercules:

Owww. Ow. Owwww. Oww. Owwww.

Oww.

Alright, friends and neighbors, it’s been another long, hard week, and what we all need, aside from a (hopefully) long holiday weekend, is a good old fashioned dose of pain and face-punching in the form of… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Our fight today is from the insane glory of June 2006’s Nextwave #4 by Warren Ellis, Stuart Immonen, and Wade von Grawbadger, as Tabitha Smith and Aaron Stack take on the awe-inspiring menace of a crooked cop.

Grrr, annoying fleshy cops.

Oh, and what’s this, blurb at the end of the Nextwave issue?

Hmmmm. I’ve been needing an activity for the weekend…

(goes to look up state, federal, and local laws and regulations concerning dragging insane, corrupt police officers who change into giant robots into alleyways and shooting them a lot)

(fails to find what he was hoping for)

Oh, shucks. Looks like I’ll have to stick with cookouts again…

Alright, kiddies, it’s Friday, time for the weekend, and we need some comic book violence to get things started right. Let’s jump right into… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This is one of my all-time favorites — possibly the most epic battle ever from Grant Morrison’s run on “JLA” — during the “Rock of Ages” storyline, we get a glimpse into an alternate future where the evil New God Darkseid has taken over the world. So from January 1998’s JLA #14 by Grant Morrison, Howard Porter, and John Dell, here’s the all-powerful Darkseid vs. a guy who shrinks and a guy who shoots arrows:

And the coda to that fight, just because it’s a great coupla lines:

Everyone have a great weekend — I’ll see y’all Monday.

It’s time to kick off another 12 rounds of FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! And since it’s still H.P. Lovecraft’s birthday, I figured I’d keep the theme rollin’…

This is from the first issue of Batman: The Doom that Came to Gotham, by Mike Mignola, Richard Pace, Troy Nixey, and Dennis Janke, from sometime in 2000. It was an Elseworlds story, set in the 1930s, with all the villains getting a little Lovecraftian twist. Ra’s al Ghul was turned into Abd al-Hazred, Mr. Freeze turned out like the dead-but-refrigerated doctor in “Cool Air,” Two-Face got some really unpleasant trans-dimensional scarring, Oswald Cobblepot went nuts and ended up living in the Arctic with a bunch of horrifically tumored penguins, and Killer Croc got crossed with the undersea fish monsters called the deep ones…

Hope that’s a good way to start a weekend full of monsters, madness, and cosmic horror…

We’ve got another short break before our regular Friday Night Fights make their triumphant return, but there are other kinds of violence in the world, including the violence done to the fragile male ego when cruelly shot down by incognito but freakin’ awesome superheroines!

From October 2009’s Power Girl #4 by Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti, and Amanda Conner: Power Girl goes to a movie, gets macked on by (gasp!) the guys from “The Big Bang Theory” (!!!), and reacts by terrifying them with dating advice (and being alarmingly tall and gorgeous):

Wow, gotta give Howard credit for being able to maintain proper eye contact.

Quite seriously, that right there is probably my single favorite moment from the entire “Power Girl” series — and that was a comic jam-packed with awesomeness. If you haven’t read it, go hunt down the trade paperbacks, fer cryin’ out loud.