Hey, it’s Fourth of July weekend! That means it’s time to get into a special edition of Friday Night Fights that’s guaranteed to not start fires (’cause dagblast it, it’s dry as freakin’ kindling out there!) and is a perfect representation of America itself!

(digs in Friday Night Fight Files to find something that’ll fit the necessary criteria)

(digs some more)

Well, okay, fine. I’m never going to find a battle that features the Thing that fits the criteria. You don’t think Ben Grimm would ever fight Captain America, do you? NO WAY! (And if you find something that has Ben Grimm fighting Captain America… keep it quiet, bucko.)

So instead, here’s the Thing doing what he does best: from February 1976’s Fantastic Four #176, by Roy Thomas, George Perez, and Joe Sinnott: The Thing vs. the Hulk!

There we go — enjoy your (hopefully) long weekend, eat some barbecue, listen to some Sousa marches… and NO FREAKIN’ FIREWORKS! Ya wanna burn everything up, ya loons?!

Okay, kiddios, you’ve suffered through another rough week of workday cruelty and not nearly enough maxxin’ and relaxxin’, and what we all need now to get the weekend started off right is big, thick, steamin’ bowl of… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This evening’s fightfest comes to us from August 2002’s Fantastic Four #57 by Adam Warren, Keron Grant, and Derek Fridolfs. It’s the Thing vs. a whole bunch of deformed and mutated Thing clones!

That’ll do it — y’all enjoy your weekend, and I’ll see you back here on Monday.

I’m still on hiatus, but there’s no way I can miss out on our traditional beginning of the weekend, can I? So let’s get set for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today’s battle is from September 1965’s Fantastic Four #42 by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, and Vince Colletta. There’s mind-control afoot, and the Thing has temporarily turned evil and joined up with the Frightful Four. So he aims to take Johnny Storm out of the picture…

And that’s that. Backing away from the computer once again, and I’ll see y’all back here at some point next week.

Let’s get right to it — time again for FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Not necessarily Ben Grimm’s finest moment — from August 1977’s Fantastic Four #185 by Len Wein, George Perez, and Joe Sinnott. The FF go up against a bunch of spellcasters, and they force the Thing to beat himself up.

Ya know, my week has felt a lot like that, too.

I’ve had a bad case of Severe Brain-Fried Syndrome all week long, so no cute intro tonight, just… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes from September 2000’s Fantastic Four #33, by John Moore and Salvadore Larroca. It can be summed up pretty simply as: Ben Grimm vs. a DINOSAUR!

See y’all next week, provided I get some relaxation time this weekend…

Now looka here, it’s been another rough-and-tumble week, and I think we’re all needing what little break we’ll be getting from this weekend. Hope y’all are going to spend it wisely — and no, that doesn’t mean catching up on your doily collecting, cooking up tons of rutabagas, or sitting around on Saturday waiting for the world to end. I mean getting down and dirty, starting with… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes from March 1966’s Fantastic Four #48 by Stan “the Man” Lee and Jack “King” Kirby, as Ben Grimm gets into a slight disagreement with a fellow New Yorker and settles it in the traditional Big Apple way — by giving him the finger!

Now I do expect y’all to be polite to folks you have a disagreement with this weekend and refrain from rude gestures. We do all want to be polite, right? (hands out the stabbin’ knives for everyone)

Awright, kids, we got another great weekend ready to kick off, and we’re gonna kick it off the only way we know how — with FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today’s battle comes from February 1978’s Fantastic Four #191 by Len Wein, George Perez, and Joe Sinnott, as the Thing, Mr. Fantastic, and the Human Torch take on the Plunderer and his minions.

And that’s whatcha call a room-clearing punch!

Everyone have a great weekend — see y’all on Monday!

Okay, kids, it’s time for another weekend, and it’s time to get things started with another edition of… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today’s battle is from August 1991’s Fantastic Four #355 by Danny Fingeroth and Al Milgrom. This was a great story — it had the Wrecker tearing up Yancy Street, and Ben Grimm just letting the bad guy hit him with his magic crowbar to keep him from attacking the Yancy Streeters. But the Thing eventually gains the upper hand…

See youse mugs on Monday, unless I end up seeing you earlier…

Awright, ya long-eared varmints, it’s been a long week, and we all need a little dose of mayhem and chaos to kick off the weekend, which means it’s definitely time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes from September 2003’s Fantastic Four #500 by Mark Waid and Mike Wieringo, in which the Invisible Woman and the Thing use a temporarily magic-focused Dr. Doom as a pinata.

I’m just sorry I couldn’t put that last panel in here full-sized. But a two-page spread of Mike Wieringo’s glorious art would break the page layout — and possibly your brains, too.

See y’all on Monday, and have a Happy Easter, too.

Okay, kiddios, if it’s late Friday afternoon, and we’re in the mood for some random comic book violence to kick off the weekend, then it must be time for FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes from October 1973’s Fantastic Four #139 by Gerry Conway, John Buscema, and Joe Sinnott, as Ben Grimm takes on some guy called the Miracle Man.

Short and sweet — and now you’re ready to head out and punch your weekend’s head off, too!

Y’all be good — or not so good, if you’d prefer — and I’ll see you back here on Monday.