Hey, Merry Christmas Eve Eve! I know it’s the holidays, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and all that, but surely there’s some room for some mindless violence in all that, right? Well, maybe not in the usual way, but I believe I’ve found something that’s definitely mindless and fairly significantly violent to Christmas itself. So even though I don’t have the most battle-heavy battle ever, it’s still time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

So from November 1961’s Adventure Comics #290 by Jerry Siegel and John Forte, let’s pay a visit to the Bizarro World, that strange cube-shaped world where Superman’s imperfect duplicate Bizarro lives with all the other imperfect duplicates. So how do Bizarros celebrate their imperfect duplicate of Christmas? Well, you’ve got to have a Bizarro-Claus…

And Bizarro-Claus needs to sing some Christmas carols, right?

Yes, that certainly helps get you into the Christmas spirit, doesn’t it? And hey, is Bizarro-Claus going to come down the chimney to bring us presents?

Well, of course, that makes perfect sense. No, wait, it makes imperfect sense!

Broken toys under Christmas cactus tree! This am just like least favorite Christmas ever! Me so sad me could laugh and laugh!

And now for traditional smelly Bizarro Christmas cards!

And that am how Bizarros use symbolic violence to make Christmas dumber and stinkier than ever! Unmerry Christmas from Bizarro World! Me hope you have lousiest, ugliest, and worst holiday ever! Hello!