The Goon #26

Bill and Charlie Mudd, a couple of dimwitted bog-lurks who are on the Goon’s side of the battle, are unexpectedly ambushed by Labrazio and the Zombie Master’s forces. Realizing that the Mudd Brothers couldn’t have been attacked unless someone was informing on the good guys, the Goon recruits the local orphans to infiltrate Madame Elsa’s burlesque parlor and see who’s been talking to Labrazio. The kids sneak in disguised as “a grown man with a mustache,” and proceed to clumsily hit on waitresses and demand brewskis… because isn’t that what grown men with mustaches do in burlesque houses? Anyway, they find out who the traitor is, and the Goon later tortures the poor stooge to death.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Things are still really, really grim and depressing, but there are still some great moments for humor, thanks to the kids and their awful disguise.

 

B.P.R.D.: The Warning #1

While Abe Sapien and a group of B.P.R.D. agents camp in the snow looking for the missing Ben Daimo, Liz Sherman, Kate Corrigan, Johann Kraus, and Panya the reanimated mummy conduct a seance to contact the spirit of Lobster Johnson. They’re rewarded with an eerie shower of Lobster’s calling cards and a mysterious name spelled out on a wall — a name that Panya is familiar with from the 19th century. It turns out that he’s the snake-festooned mystic who’s been haunting Liz’s dreams, so Panya goes on a telepathic quest to track him down.

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s been a while since we saw a B.P.R.D. comic that was so completely dedicated to horror and creepy imagery — the pages with the downpour of Lobster cards alone are worth the price of the comic.

It’s been too long since we looked at any horror comics, ain’t it?

 

Pigeons from Hell #3

Joe R. Lansdale’s adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s classic horror story continues, as the Blassenville sisters and the roaming sheriff make a narrow escape from the old haunted plantation mansion. Whatever’s inside doesn’t follow them, but they can’t simply leave — they have a friend who may still be trapped in the house. So they retreat to a nearby shack, where an ancient hoodoo man spins them the tales of the old house’s horrific history. Will knowing the house’s secrets help them fight the evil spirit inside? Or is it too strong for anyone to withstand?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good and creepy, and excellent suspense as well.

 

B.P.R.D.: The Ectoplasmic Man

This is essentially the origin story of Johann Kraus, the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense’s resident disembodied medium. Back in 2002, the story goes, he was leading a seance, assumed an ectoplasmic form to commune with the spirit world, and inadvertently became part of a global supernatural disaster that destroyed thousands of spirits — the psychic feedback killed Kraus’ body and the other participants in the seance, but left Kraus as a bodiless ectoplasmic spirit. But soon, he discovers a new menace in a nearby cemetery, a demon that feeds on the souls of the recently deceased. But how can an intangible ghost stop such a powerful demon?

Verdict: Another thumbs up. A wonderful done-in-one story that adds quite a bit to Kraus’ backstory. The demon is nicely monstrous, and Johann’s solution to the problem, while entirely predictable for anyone who knows the character now, is still done very well.

Captain Britain and MI:13 #2

The Skrulls have invaded England, established a beachhead in Avalon, source of the world’s magic, and blown up Captain Britain. Pete Wisdom is hearing mysterious voices urging him onwards, Dr. Faiza Hussain has escaped death and somehow developed superpowers, and the Skrulls are slaughtering the Fae and mythological figures right and left. The only hope is for someone to pull Excalibur itself from the stone… but what if no one’s worthy to wield the legendary sword anymore?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nice, desperate action, lots of nasty Super-Skrulls, and interesting stuff going on with Dr. Hussain and the Black Knight. Not quite as much characterization as I’d prefer, but this is taking place in a war zone — kinda hard to get into a lot of personality quirks in that kind of setting.

B.P.R.D.: War on Frogs #1

A story about the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense that’s not written by Mike Mignola? In this case, our writer is John Arcudi, who’s written more than his fair share of tales from the Hellboyverse. This one is a flashback in which the late Roger the Homunculus goes on a mission to round up the frog monsters who attacked Hellboy and Abe Sapien in one of the first “Hellboy” comics. Roger tracks them to an underwater lair where they’ve set up a shrine to their late mother and their old way of life. Does Roger have what it takes to fight off two frog monsters at once?

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s really nice to see Roger again.

Wonder Woman #21

Back in the real world, Director Steel assigns Tom Tresser to investigate Diana Prince and Etta Candy to find out if they’re secretly Amazons in league with Gorilla Grodd. (“Amazons in League with Gorilla Grodd” would be a killer band name.) This leads to problems when Tresser thinks he’s discovered Grodd in Diana’s apartment only to find the intelligent gorillas who are living in Diana’s apartment. Meanwhile, in where ever the heck Wonder Woman has ended up, she and Beowulf are fighting off a bunch of demon-possessed peasants, and Diana finds herself struggling against her growing bloodlust. They also meet up with the Stalker, who tells them his origin — unwisely bargaining his soul away for immortality. To gain his soul back, he has to kill a powerful demon. Diana and Beowulf agree to assist, and they go to enlist Claw the Unconquered, an old DC fantasy character, in the quest, and Diana discovers that she’s acquired a deformed, demonic hand, just like Claw.

Verdict: Ya know, when I read the summary above, it sounds absolutely rollicking. But it isn’t. It’s actively uninteresting. This should be the type of thing where you blow your mind six or seven times just reading the book, but it’s criminally boring. Thumbs down.

 

Captain Britain and MI: 13 #1

The first issue of this new title hits during Marvel’s “Secret Invasion” crossover event. And for a Secret Invasion, it doesn’t seem to be very secret, what with all the Skrulls and Super-Skrulls running around out in the open, blowing up London, and all that. Anyway, our heroes here include British heroes like Captain Britain, Pete Wisdom, the Black Knight, a speedster named Spitfire, a seemingly-normal physician/superhero fangirl named Faiza, and a guy called John the Skrull, who is a renegade Skrull who looks just like John Lennon.

No one knows why the Skrulls are hitting England so hard — there are a lot more superheroes and resources in America, after all — until someone realizes that the Skrulls are after Avalon, one of the primary sources of magic on Earth. Can the team stop the Skrulls in time? And why is Pete Wisdom hearing voices in his head?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’m digging the characters, particularly John the Skrull and Dr. Hussain. Tons of personality there, and frankly, with all the other team members, too.

 

B.P.R.D.: 1946 #5

The conclusion of the series brings us American and Soviet soldiers fighting rampaging Nazi cyber-gorillas, Nazi cyber-chimps speaking German, an evil Nazi head in a jar, and Nazi vampires on a rocket to America! You cannot possibly read this story without your head exploding with 100% Pure Awesomeness!

Verdict: Thumbs up? Naw, thumbs up like craaaaazy!

 

Titans #2

There’s still someone trying to track down and kill the Teen Titans — like all the Teen Titans, current and former. Everyone figures it’s Trigon, so Raven goes off to psychically confront her dear old dad, finding him in really awful shape. But he says he’s still powerful enough to do serious damage to the Titans and to Earth. And Raven learns that Trigon has help in his quest to kill the Titans — namely, his other children.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Ye gods, this has gotta be the worst comic I’ve read in months. The dialogue is absolutely moronic, the plotting is determinedly dorky, and the art by Joe Benitez is just astoundingly, vomitously bad. I was willing to give this title a chance after the first issue, but this issue is way, way beyond my ability to tolerate. I’m dropping it, with a song in my heart and bile in my throat.

 

Tiny Titans #3

More all-ages fun from Art Baltazar and Franco. As far as I can tell, every page of this comic was pure 100% awesome. The first page features Robin in a child-seat in the back of the Batmobile. After that, we get Beast Boy Puppy, the most adorable version of Jericho ever, Beast Boy’s elephant, and a bunch of rocket-propelled penguins. Not sure I like the idea of Dr. Light as a schoolteacher, but this is obviously out-of-continuity, so I guess it’s okay.

Verdict: Thumbs up. It really is colossal fun.

 

Booster Gold #8

In the severely altered present, Maxwell Lord and his OMACs rule the world, and Superman is under Max’s mental control. Booster and Ted Kord join up with the Resistance — Green Arrow, Hawkman, Pantha, Wild Dog, and Anthro. We know this is doomed from the git-go, right?

Verdict: Thumbs up, mainly because I’m amused by a superteam that included Pantha, Wild Dog, and Anthro.

 

B.P.R.D.: 1946 #4

The first year of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense continues, as Professor Bruttenholm persuades the demonic little girl Varvara to let him actually interrogate a Nazi prisoner instead of just slaughtering him. He learns the origins of the Nazi vampire project and discovers where the rest of the vampire hybrids are being stored. The Russians and Americans rush to destroy what’s left of the project, but instead discover some villains familiar to Hellboy fans…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Any comic book that ends with a deactivated cyborg giraffe, a Nazi head-in-a-jar, and a bunch of Nazi cyber-gorillas is a comic that I know we can all enjoy.

Let’s go ahead and hit the past few weeks’ worth of horror comics, with some stories about haunted mansions, haunted asylums, and haunted cabins…

 

Locke and Key #1

The guy who wrote this is named Joe Hill — not familiar? It’s Stephen King’s son. So I guess this is pedigreed horror.

The plot here spotlights Tyler Locke, eldest son of the Locke family. After a couple of unbalanced teens make a deranged attack on the family, Tyler and the other surviving Lockes move to Lovecraft, Massachusetts, to live in the family’s ancestral mansion, known for unspecified reasons as Keyhouse. There, Tyler tries to deal with the family trauma, piled on top of his own teen angst, while the lunatic killer makes deals with unsavory powers to escape the madhouse, and Tyler’s little brother Bode finds a key that unlocks a very dangerous door.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Definitely a good introduction. Good characters, good dialogue, lots of tension. The story is definitely rated M for Mature — this ain’t exactly the Groovie Ghoolies for pre-teens, ya know? Keyhouse is very interesting — I’ve got some suspicions about where the plot is about to go, but we’ll see, won’t we? I’m certainly looking forward to the rest of this comic — the first issue sold out awfully fast, and I hope I don’t miss any of the rest of the series.

 

B.P.R.D.: 1946 #3

It’s still 1946, and we’re still focused on the first major adventure of Professor Bruttenholm and the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense. Last issue, we discovered a vampire in a barn and learned that Varvara, the adorable little girl who heads up the USSR’s occult research division, is actually a powerful demon. In this issue, the Americans and Russians visit an abandoned insane asylum, where over a hundred maniacs were injected with vampire blood to turn them into monsters. Of course, the half-vampires attack under cover of darkness, several people lose their lives, and Bruttenholm and Varvara meet up with a full-blood vampire who has his own dire plans.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nicely spooky, especially those scenes in the dark with half-vampires creeping up behind unsuspecting soldiers. Lone criticism: Things are a bit too chaotic, and it’s hard to keep track of what’s going on sometimes. Still, Varvara is such a horrible, horrible little girl, and Baron Konig is nicely creepy, too.

 

Evil Dead #3

This series continues its re-creation of Sam Raimi’s horror classic, as Ash and his friends are slowly whittled away by the demonic forces inhabiting the cabin. Ash tries to hold on to his own humanity as everyone else gets possessed and turned into Deadites, but it’s becoming more and more clear that his friends are beyond hope, and the only way for him to get out alive is to give in and start killing everyone…

Verdict: Thumbs up. I started out irritated that the series is so perfectly re-creating the movie, but I kept getting so into the groovy horror — it’s been years since I saw the movie, and it really does feel good to get re-acquainted with the story and the characters. And John Bolton’s paintings in this are fantastic. Can paintings of gory, horrific demon-possessed zombies be described as beautiful? I’m gonna go out on a (severed) limb here and say that they can, and they are.

I spent yesterday reading some old horror stories. Old stuff — M.R. James, Robert W. Chambers, turn-of-the-century ghost story stuff, plus I watched some old trailers for horror flicks, too. So I’m in the mood to review a couple new horror comics. Let’s get to it, kiddies.

 

B.P.R.D.: 1946 #2

The adventures of Hellboy’s father, Trevor Bruttenholm, continue in post-war Berlin during the first years of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense. Bruttenholm and his associate, Trevor, narrowly avoid being attacked in the abandoned asylum when their soldier assistants show up to bring them home. Later, they meet up with an old woman who keeps her son, a former inmate at that asylum, locked away in a barn. The reason: The poor kid’s been turned into a vampire! The kid drags one of the soldiers up to the rafters when the Soviets show up — Varvara, the creepy little blonde girl who runs the USSR’s occult research division, had Bruttenholm followed. We learn a bit more about her after she goes into the barn to talk to the vamp, and later when she tells Bruttenholm an old legend about Peter the Great.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Varvara is a very, very scary little girl.

 

The Evil Dead #2

Ash and his friends are spending the weekend in a deserted cabin in the woods. One of them has already gone on a hover-in-the-air, eyes-gone-dead-white, speaking-in-freaky-voices, and trying-to-kill-everyone binge, but they’ve managed to lock her in the basement. Too bad that doesn’t solve the problem, as one other goes missing while another turns deadite on them — and not even hacking her up with an axe looks like it’ll keep her down.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Yeah, it’s still largely a re-telling of the original “Evil Dead” film, but there ain’t nothing in the world wrong with a little early ’80s gore. John Bolton’s paintings are also awfully nice to look at.

I found a couple Mike Mignola comics I’d forgotten to review last week hidden under a pile of papers, so let’s go ahead and take a look at them real quick.

 

B.P.R.D.: 1946 #1

A new series, written by Mignola and Joshua Dysart, and illustrated by Paul Azaceta. It focuses on the early history of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, or the BPRD. This first issue is set in post-war Berlin, split between the Americans and the Soviets. Trevor Bruttenholm, Hellboy’s “father,” has come to the city to try to catalog the Nazis’ occult research. Unfortunately, the Americans can only spare him a group of five sad-sack soldiers with little-to-no experience with research, while the Soviets have an extremely well-organized operation that’s easily snapping up all the best artifacts.

So far, the best moments involve Bruttenholm going to visit the Soviet side of Berlin, discovering how far out of his league he is compared to the Russians’ progress, and meeting Varvara, the person in charge of the Soviets’ research operation, who is apparently a vodka-chugging little girl. Later, Bruttenholm and one of his assistants visit a secret Nazi laboratory that has been deserted… or has it?

Verdict: Thumbs up. The story gives a good idea of what post-war Berlin felt like, the characters are pretty fun, and the story is pretty creepy, especially at the end. Looking forward to the rest of this series.

 

Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus #5

As much as I enjoyed the previous four issues of this comic, this one let me down a little. The evil Fu-Manchu-esque villain sticks Lobster with some mystical talisman that’s supposed to make Lobster his slave, then he gets captured by Nazis and mobsters, but escapes to pursue the Nazis as they prepare to bomb New York City from a U-boat. A pretty cool underwater fight ensues between Lobster and a Nazi. Lobster realizes that the mystic talisman is actually a conventional explosive preparing to blow up, so he ties it to the sub and destroys it. A lengthy wrap up follows.

Verdict: Thumbs down. It just didn’t excite me the way the other issues did. This may be one of those stories where the end makes better sense when you read the entire thing together. But the ending is unexpectedly vague, and the “Iron Prometheus” of the title doesn’t really appear at all in this ish.

B.P.R.D.: Killing Ground #5

Okay, the wendigo is loose, Ben Daimo has turned into a monster, and no one knows what’s going on. Johann Strauss, mourning the loss of his new body, contacts the spirits of the two strangers to the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense who were killed on the grounds. The first says that he’s a survivor of Daimo’s unit and reveals that Daimo is possessed by a jaguar demon. He had a plan to kill Daimo before he turned into a monster but wasn’t able to make it into the BPRD headquarters in time. The other spirit is a Chinese mystic who Daimo contacted periodically to conduct ceremonies to stave the demon off. It was Daimo as the jaguar demon who released the wendigo, but why? The story ends very abruptly as Daimo, temporarily free of the demon, faces the wendigo.

This issue has problems. It’s crammed to the gills with exposition, but it waves off the appearance of Lobster Johnson’s spirit with a “No one knows what happened,” and it does nothing to explain what’s been up with Liz Sherman’s depression and nightmares, which she’s now somehow free of. I’m sure they’ll explain these in future issues, but no one knows how far in the future that may be.

On the other hand, the flashbacks of the first spirit, the soldier who served with Daimo, are excellent. Johann’s reaction to the loss of his body is also very well-done. And I actually like the ending — it’s over so quickly, and we don’t actually learn what happens to either Daimo or the wendigo — but I like that little dose of mystery. Will we ever find out Daimo’s fate? Maybe someday, but for now, I’m enjoying wondering what happened.

Verdict: Thumbs up, with some reservations.

No, we’re not talking about the turkey you’re gonna be shoving down your gullet tomorrow — we’re talking comics with light-hearted themes and comics that are wallowing in the bleak and horrific side of things. Let’s go with the light stuff first…

Captain Carrot and the Final Ark #2

Frogzilla’s back, and the Zoo Crew’s best chance of beating him lies with… Alley-Kat-Abra?! But isn’t she in prison for murder? Turns out that the evil wizard Feline Faust created an evil doppelganger of Alley, and she did all the bad stuff while the real Alley was trapped in a prison dimension. Umm, yes, sounds likely, ya think? Once Frogzilla is turned back into J. Fenimore Frog, the Zoo Crew head for the ocean depths to track the undersea terrorist Salamandroid. Unfortunately, it’s a trap, and the team is attacked by Starro the Conqueror’s face-hugging starfish. On top of that, Vicuna Pacos is revealed as the mad environmentalist immortal Rash Al Paca, and he has plans to flood the entire planet!

Verdict: Thumbs up. The art is wonderful, the puns are wonderful, the jokes are funny, and I’m still pretty happy with the story — though I gotta admit I’m worried about the conclusion next issue. This is a “Countdown” tie-in, and all the “Countdown” comics seem to be designed to be depressing and horrible. I hope this series bucks the trend.

Now for the dark stuff…

B.P.R.D.: Killing Ground #4

Okay, this one’s got more shocks than a toaster in a bathtub. Brace yerself, kids.

A bomb has blown up in Ben Daimo’s room, and the mysterious man who’s been stalking the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense’s compound… well, he stands there and lets Abe Sapien shoot a hole through his chest. What the heck did he want? We don’t have time to find out, because Daimo comes out of the bombed-out firestorm that used to be his quarters… and he’s turned into a nine-foot-tall ravening monster!

Liz Sherman goes catatonic while the sinister mastermind in her head tells her stories of armageddons. The Daimonster starts tearing soldiers apart until Johann Straus, wearing his superstrong body, shows up to beat the stuffing out of it. Unfortunately, the monster manages to rip Johann’s throat out. His body’s dying, but he’s really just a spirit inside of a body — his ectoplasm emerges and — wait a minute, that’s not Johann Strauss! That’s… Lobster Johnson! Then he runs into the infirmary and shoots Liz!

You are probably now asking yourself, “What is this amazing spicy sandwich I’m eating? What is this sammich with a kick like a mule and all the sweet, confusing joy in the universe crammed inside?” My friends, that is one of Mike Mignola’s signature OMGWTFBBQ sandwiches, and your taste buds will never be the same again.

Verdict: Thumbs up. No, I have no earthly idea what the heck was going on. But holy moley, what a ride! Is this Mike Mignola’s best year ever? And one more issue of this storyline to go? Do not miss out on this one, folks.