Wonder Woman #24

Quite a bit of fun in this one. We start out with Diana taking Tom Tresser to Themyscira to meet her mother, Queen Hippolyta. She takes him on a few chores as a test — specifically, hand-feeding the griffins. This doesn’t really work out well, but Hippolyta accepts him anyway, makes him an honorary Amazon, and gives her blessing to Diana’s relationship with him. She also gets off the best line in the comic, after asking Tresser and Diana for a final favor:

I actually laughed out loud when I read that.

Anyway, after leaving Themyscira, Wondy travels to Hollywood, where some slick movie execs have decided to make a Wonder Woman movie and are seeking her approval. Wondy takes a couple of her albino ape buddies along to help impress the movie moguls, tries to bond with a bitter lawyer, and gets a tour of the backlot. What she sees of the movie rehearsals, she really doesn’t approve of, and it does look really awful — the movie version of Wondy has a lightsabre, and there are just way too many awful one-liners. Unfortunately, Laney Kirswell, the studio head, is hiding a nasty secret that leads to even more trouble for Diana.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of great dialogue, funny jokes, bizarre situations, giant sharks, and an unexpected supervillain. This one’s great fun.

Manhunter #34

Kate tangles with the Suicide Squad and spends several happy minutes just slaughtering Multiplex’s clone bodies, but she’s still badly outnumbered. Luckily, Huntress and Lady Blackhawk from the Birds of Prey show up to pull her bacon outta the fire — but there’s not actually going to be any more fighting. The Suicide Squad were undercover trying to discover who was killing women in Mexico and why. Meanwhile, her son Ramsey has developed superpowers — how is she gonna deal with having grandparents and a son who have superpowers?

Verdict: Thumbs up, kinda. I felt like the Suicide Squad wasn’t used the way I’d prefer ’em, and the stuff with Ramsey’s powers just felt a bit odd. But in general, it was alright.

House of Mystery #5

This one’s a bit all over the map. We get a bio of Fig’s life, from childhood literary hero to mystical Teen Detective to failed architect. We get the House’s permanent residents trying to survive as the House begins to collapse on itself. We get a spotlight story where boring old Jordan tells a boring story about his boring life fighting giant spiders, vampire cats, fire-breathing dragons, and elder gods. We also get what seems to be a resolution to the first storyarc, though I can’t really tell if it’s completed or just carrying over to another new arc.

Verdict: Thumbs up, with some pretty strong reservations. I loved Jordan’s story, which shoehorns tons of weird, bizarre, fantastical stuff into a seemingly mundane story. I love Fig’s autobiography, which twists and turns all over the place, from happiness to ongoing tragedy. I was really not at all interested in the overarching story about the House trying to destroy itself. And I didn’t like the ending at all — I expect a little vagueness in good dark fantasy, but this was simply too vague for me to really figure out what happened.

Necronomicon #1

This one’s pretty fun. We follow the story of a Arabic student named Henry Said who’s attending the infamous Miskatonic University in the 1920s. He’s good with languages, so a mysterious group of university patrons hire him to translate the dreaded Necronomicon into English. But something sinister is going on? Why is Henry being followed? Why does the university librarian act so strange? Who are the monstrous figures who try to steal the Necronomicon?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Excellent Lovecraftian fun. Henry is a fun character, naively learning about the Western world and the occult horrors around him. His small circle of friends are entertaining, too. And the eldritch horror elements are nicely handled, too. No mind-bending gods rising from the sea, at least not yet — things start out slow and creepy before building up to what seems to be a horrific climax — but this is just the first issue, and there are certainly worse things than decomposing zombies and bug-faced kidnappers on the way soon…

I wanted to throw out a quick heads-up about a new blog I’ve added to my blogroll — it’s The Kid’s Comic Book Reviews.

What is it? It’s a bunch of comic reviews by a seven-year-old kid — and they’re not short, barely-thought-out micro-reviews, either. They’re lengthy, complete reviews of everything from artwork to plot and character. Even better, they’re fun to read, and they give a perspective we don’t see that often around the blogosphere.

Give the Kid a read — I think you’ll like him.

Believe it or not, today is apparently Teddy Bear Day. I know, I know, that’s what I thought, too. I don’t know if Hallmark is just powerful enough where they can designate any crazy holidays they want to sell more cards, or if there’s some groundswell movement by crazy people to get people to, I don’t know, hug teddy bears or something.

But never let it be said that I won’t shamelessly jump on any ol’ bandwagon that rolls down the hill, a’ight?

Alright, I’ve done my sacred duty as a comics blogger, so now I’m gonna go off and read edgy comics about cool people who wear black clothes and smoke cigars.

(looks around to make sure no one’s watching)

(hugs secret teddy bear hidden under bed)

(resolves to go find that “Death is a Windup Bear” story somewhere)

The Family Dynamic #1

A new all-ages book from DC — this one focuses on the Spencers, a Canadian family with a secret identity as a superteam called the Family Dynamic. The dad, Pyralis, controls fire; Sirocco, the mom, is a wind generator; eldest son Troylus is a water blaster; and younger son Terran is an earth elemental. They all get their powers from a set of rings that have been in the family at least a generation or two. A lot of this first issue is focused on establishing the backstory, thanks to a news interview by a reporter who’s also a superhero in his off-time. And there are another couple of superheroes in town, a mother-daughter team called Blackbird and Little Wing. Add a couple of clownish villains called Tragedy Ann and Tom Foolery, and the stage is set for lots of superhero action…

Verdict: Thumbs up. This looks like it’ll be a lot of fun. Already getting some interesting conflicts set up among the various superheroes, and everyone’s personalities seem solid and interesting. If I’ve got a complaint, it’s that we just barely learn the characters’ real names — the names are buried way back in the story, when in the first issue of a comic, you should really make sure that all the characters have been properly and clearly introduced to the readers. But again, minor quibble there — the rest is plenty of fun.

Young X-Men #5

The mask is off — “Cyclops” is really the evil cyborg Donald Pierce in disguise! As Graymalkin and Magma scare Pierce off and return Dust to her natural form, while Rockslide, Wolf Club, and Ink fight Sunspot and Cannonball. Eventually, everyone realizes they’re on the same side, and they track down Pierce so they can rescue Blindfold and Dani Moonstar. And though they’re able to beat Pierce in the end, he manages to kill Wolf Cub.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Aside from the story being a bit of a letdown, I’m disappointed that they killed Wolf Cub. Sure, it was telegraphed from the beginning — who else were they gonna kill? A brand new character like Graymalkin? The quirky blind girl with the wacky speech patterns? The charismatic rock-covered tough guy? The token religious minority? So if someone had to die, it was obviously going to be Wolf Cub. I’m just disappointed that they felt they had to kill him at all. He could’ve developed into an interesting character, with a little effort. And besides, I’m really getting tired of comics killing off characters for cheap shock-value.

Well, here we are, the first Friday in September, the weather’s cooling off, football season’s in full swing, school’s back in session, the political campaigns are making large numbers of people hoot madly and bash their heads against brick walls. What the heck, seems like as good an excuse as any to dive headlong into FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight, let’s pay a quick visit to 2003’s JLA: Welcome to the Working Week by Patton Oswalt, Patrick Gleason, and Christian Alamy, in which Wonder Woman gets in a little sparring using Cheetah’s spinal column:

Looks like Wondy just bought Cheetah a round-trip ticket on the Pain Train…

Secret Six #1

The dysfunctional anti-villains from “Villains United” are back — Catman, Deadshot, Ragdoll, and Scandal, with new member Bane joining them and another newbie showing up in another issue down the road. Some horrifyingly creepy crimelord named “Junior” has the team in his sights, Catman is considering giving up crime, Scandal is drunkenly mourning her lost love Knockout, and Ragdoll is still the funniest and most pervertedly bizarre freak on the planet. The whole team has to break a former superhero out of prison and take her on a cross-country journey, all with an impossibly large bounty on their heads that guarantees that everyone is going to be gunning for them.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Oh, mercy, what a thumbs up. I can’t believe I missed this series as much as I did. I love all these characters, but holy guacamole, how is it possible for any character to be as horribly funny and kinky and awkward as Ragdoll? And Junior seems like a really cool villain — scary, mysterious, sadistic in really awful ways. This one is going to be so much fun.

Green Lantern #34

The “Secret Origin” storyline continues. Hal and Sinestro save William Hand from Atrocitus. Sinestro gets to be an arrogant so-and-so, Hal is able to use his ring against something colored yellow, Hal makes his peace with Carol Ferris and her father, and both of the GLs get called on the carpet by the Guardians.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Bored now.

H.P. Lovecraft’s Haunt of Horror #3

The final issue of this miniseries sticks to the same high standards as the previous two. Once again, it’s the stories and poems of horror master H.P. Lovecraft, illustrated by brilliant horror artist Richard Corben. In this issue, we get the tale of Arthur Jermyn, who discovers that there’s a nasty case of root rot in his family tree; we get the story of “The Well,” in which something unpleasant and dangerous is lurking underground; and we get “The Window,” which considers just how empty the space on the other side of a wall can be.

Verdict: Thumbs up. “Arthur Jermyn” is one of my least favorite of Lovecraft’s stories, but Corben still makes it work. The other stories, based on very short poems, work out wonderfully as full-length comic stories. Pick all of these up, if you can.

Marvel: Your Universe Saga

Basically, this is a combination of a short addendum to the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe and a brief summary of the last several years’ worth of Marvel storylines.

Verdict: Not much to it? I’m still giving it a thumbs up. It’s free, baby! And it’s pretty good anyway — Marvel has been a pretty convoluted place lately, so it’s nice to have a little scorecard to keep track of everything that’s been going on.

Justice Society of America #18

Well, he’s right there on the cover, isn’t he, so it’s not like this is a big spoiler — Magog, from the “Kingdom Come” series, has his big origin in this issue. Who is he? That’s a spoiler for a bit further down in this paragraph, so be warned, a’ight? Anyway, Gog has discovered that humans make war on each other, and he’s not happy about that at all. The JSA try to disarm the bad guys and keep them from taking hostages or killing anyone else, but Gog takes the villains out of the picture without killing them — he turns them into trees. Of course, that pretty much kills their consciousness and minds, so there’s not much difference, is there? Elsewhere, Citizen Steel is desperate to get his Gog-granted cure, Damage is enjoying his newly-repaired face, Hawkman is bloodthirstier than normal, and Power Girl is trying to find some allies in the weirdly hostile Earth-2. Oh, and David Reid, FDR’s grandson, gets hit with a rocket shell and killed. But with Gog around, that’s hardly likely to be permanent — and Gog likes improving people, too, maybe with a few cyber-enhancements and metal horns…

Verdict: I’m gonna thumbs-down it. This is getting stretched out more and more and more, and it’s way past time to start wrapping this up. I’m also not thrilled with taking a perfectly good character like David Reid and revamping him into the Kingdom Come Magog.

Fantastic Four: True Story #2

The Fantastic Four manage to save Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret, from Jane Austen’s “Sense and Sensibility,” from hordes of demons, but the team learns that, here in the world of fiction, their own imaginations can alter the characters — Johnny accidentally starts Marianne talking in computer-jargon l33t-speak — and the fictional characters’ imaginations can alter them, too! Ben Grimm manages to save everyone, but the Dashwoods start re-imagining him as a heroic soldier of their own time period. So the FF, realizing they need some more allies, go visiting “Ivanhoe,” “Kubla Khan,” “Last of the Mohicans,” and “Frankenstein.” But the demons have other stories they can dig through, too, looking for their own villainous allies…

Verdict: Thumbs up. A bit confusing here and there, but I’m enjoying the ride so far.

Blue Beetle #30

Jaime is still trying to track down the illegal immigrants who’ve managed to give themselves magnetic superpowers. In the process, he interrogates La Dama, tangles with the metahuman wrestlers he fought last issue, argues with the Posse, and plays a round of mini-golf. In the end, Jaime defeats them with Science! — but that’s far from the end of Jaime’s troubles…

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is still, even over the course of multiple new writers, the best comic DC is publishing. And still, over the course of dozens of issues, the dialogue and situations are still what make it so golden. Any comic that features a little boy dancing in a dress and singing “I’m a princess!” and a superhero who manufactures his own paper with dead skin cells and sweat — and feels like he needs to tell people that — is something that I really never ever want to give up. I’ve told y’all a few times to go read this, right? Well, go read this!

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #27

An unusual issue this time, because there’s not just one story. The first part of this issue focuses on Storm, Ant-Man, Spider-Man, the Hulk, and Giant-Girl visiting a county fair. Why? Because they need superheroes to judge pie-eating contests. Anyway, there’s an accident with Ant-Man’s helmet, and everyone gets shrunk. This would be easy for Ant-Man to fix, if only he could get his helmet back from the pig that’s run off with it. Meanwhile, back in the city, Captain America and Iron Man shoot some hoops and round up some spammers.

Verdict: Another thumbs up. And once again, what makes this comic so wonderful is the outstanding dialogue and funny situations. Ant-Man helping a moonshiner improve his still? Hulk chasing pigs for a hug? Storm trapped in cotton candy? Giant-Girl riding a chicken? Iron Man cheating at basketball? And really, the single best line in any comic I picked up last week: “Is Fancy Dan kidding?” This is definitely another comic you need to be reading right now.